"Acting like a dog on a leash.."

[brachialis]

Hello all! I'm trying to put together the following sentence..

"Acting like a little dog on a leash on a sunny Sunday stroll with a shiny collar wrapped around its neck"

Does it sounds right to you? If not, how would you rephrase it?
Thanks!

 

[Yankee]

Hello all! I'm trying to put together the following sentence..

"Acting like a little dog on a leash on a sunny Sunday stroll with a shiny collar wrapped around its neck"

Does it sounds right to you? If not, how would you rephrase it?
Thanks!

Depends on context. Who or what was doing the acting?

 

[brachialis]

Depends on context. Who or what was doing the acting?

Thanks for the reply! It's a person that's doing the acting (public representative if that helps)

 

[Flamenco1]

I see three elements (could just be me and I may be way off the mark):



little dog on a leash. This conjures up the dog pulling in all directions.

sunny Sunday stroll. This conjures up tranquillity.

shiny collar wrapped around its neck. This conjures up pride of the dog owner.

The problem with the sentence is that I get no feeling for how these elements interrelate.

As for structure, I think it could do with some commas and a conjunction or two. I’d suggest you break it down into the three base sentences and then think about how you want them to relate, if at all, to each other.

Do come back with your thoughts and we can respond from there.

 

[Flamenco1]

Depends on context. Who or what was doing the acting?

Sorry Yankee, I didn't see that you had beat me to it. But I guess we are saying the same thing. You just said it more succinctly.

 

[Rover_KE]

For a start, it's not a sentence.

Who or what was doing the acting?

It's a person that's doing the acting (public representative if that helps). Context always helps.

In that case, say "A public representative was acting like a little dog on a leash on a sunny Sunday stroll with a shiny collar wrapped around its neck" (though it's hard to envisage that scenario).