[Grammar] After John and Carl left the room, Beverly connected her pendrive

[Nikitus]

Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

After John and Carl left the room, Beverly connected her pendrive and began to explore the folder labeled as “Kevin”.

She opened a excel file. The file contained the weekly schedule of Kevin with detail about his activities. Then she opened a video. She saw Kevin very affected after the practical joke, that had bad taste in it. In that moment the video maked a close-up to Kevin's face. Beverly closed the video unable to believe what she was seeing.


Thanks.

 

[teechar]

Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

After John and Carl left the room, Beverly connected her pendrive and began to explore the folder labeled as “Kevin”.

She opened an Excel file [STRIKE]. The file[/STRIKE] that contained [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Kevin's weekly schedule, [STRIKE]of Kevin with[/STRIKE] including details [STRIKE]about[/STRIKE] of his activities. Then she opened a video. She saw that Kevin was very affected after the practical joke that [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] was in bad taste. [STRIKE]in it. In[/STRIKE] At that moment, the video [STRIKE]maked[/STRIKE] showed a close-up [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] of Kevin's face. Beverly closed the video file, unable to believe what she was seeing.


Thanks.

I don't like the part in blue. Try and be more specific as to what you mean.

 

[Nikitus]

Dear teechar:

First of all, once again thanks for your help and time.


I will try to be more specific.

Then she opened a video, where she noted that Kevin was affected emotionally after the practical joke that was in bad taste.


Thanks.

[h=3][/h]

 

[teechar]

That's okay, but use "clicked on" instead of "opened."

 

[Tdol]

the folder labeled as “Kevin”

I wouldn't use as there, and would be more likely to say folder named.