both the UK and Switzerland dramatical grow by €47 million and €5.5 million ,respectively.

[mrmvp]

In 1999, Switzerland had the highest sales on fairtrade coffee, at €3 million, meanwhile, the revenue from fairtrade bananas was the highest, at €15 million. By contrast, sales of fairtrade coffee significantly jumped to €20 million, which is over triple Switzerland's sales figure in 2004. In regard to fairtrade bananas in 2004, both the UK and Switzerland dramatical grow by €47 million and €5.5 million, respectively.

Are there mistakes in the paragraph? Is it possible to rewrite the sentence without respectively?

In regard to fairtrade bananas in 2004, both the UK and Switzerland dramatical grow by €47 million and €5.5 million.
The UK grow by €47 million.
Switzerland grow by €5.5 million.

 

[SoothingDave]

It's good to say "respectively" to assure the reader that you are, indeed, listing them in order.

They grow "dramatically."

"Fair trade" is not one word.

 

[mrmvp]

It's good to say "respectively" to assure the reader that you are, indeed, listing them in order.

They grow "dramatically."

"Fair trade" is not one word.

Thank you.

Is "both the UK and Switzerland dramatical grow by €47 million and €5.5 million." correct?


Without respectively, is the meaning clear?

The ambition and financial might of the Saudi clubs is clear as they continue to target top European stars like Cristiano Ronaldo and Karim Benzema, who have joined Al-Nassr and Al-Ittihad.

Cristiano Ronaldo signed Al-Nassr.

Benzema signed Al-Ittihad.

 

[teechar]

In 1999, Switzerland had the highest sales on of fair trade coffee, at €3 million.

Note the corrections.

meanwhile, the revenue from fairtrade bananas was the highest, at €15 million.

What do you mean by that?
In fact, can you please upload an image of what you're trying to describe?

 

[mrmvp]

Note the corrections.

What do you mean by that?

meanwhile, the revenue from fairtrade bananas was the highest, at €15 million.


The total amount of fair trade bananas. Please see the picture attached. Second table, first figure the UK.

In fact, can you please upload an image of what you're trying to describe?

Thank you so much. The picture is attached.

 

[SoothingDave]

Is "both the UK and Switzerland dramatical grow by €47 million and €5.5 million." correct?

No, I just told you the wording is "grow dramatically."

Without respectively, is the meaning clear?

I just said "it is good to say 'respectively.'"

 

[teechar]

This is not a difficult task, and there is no need to make a mess of it. You just need to write two paragraphs: one for coffee and one for bananas. Post below

 

[emsr2d2]

Remember to capitalise "Fairtrade" each time you write it. It's a proper noun.

 

[mrmvp]

This is not a difficult task, and there is no need to make a mess of it. You just need to write two paragraphs: one for coffee and one for bananas. Post below

Thank you for helping me. I will post it. The chart is attached.


First paragraph is paraphrasing the question.

The graph breaks down the amount of money spent on Fair trade coffee and bananas in two separate years in the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden.


Second paragraph is about the major trends in the two charts.

Overall, Fair trade coffee experienced growth in all European countries from 1999 to 2004. While Fair trade bananas witnessed an increase in all European countries from 1999 to 2004, except for Belgium and Sweden.


Third paragraph is about Fair trade coffee.

In terms of sales of Fair trade coffee in 1999 and 2004. UK's sales of Fair trade coffee jumped significantly from €1.5 million in 1999 to €20 million in 2004, and also Switzerland and Denmark's sales of Fair trade coffee gradually rose from € 3 million and €1.8 million in 1999 to € six million and € two million, respectively. Sweden is the least county of sales of Fair trade coffee with approximately € one million in 2004.


Fourth paragraph is about Fair trade bananas.

With regard to sales of Fair trade bananas in 1999 and 2004. the UK's sales of Fair trade bananas soared dramatically from €15 million in 1999 to levelled off at €47 million in 2004. Moreover, Switzerland's sales of Fair trade Bananas gradually climbed from €one million in 1999 to reach € 5.5 million in 2004, but sales of Fair trade in Sweden slightly decline from €2 million in 1999 to €0.9 million in 2004.

 

[mrmvp]

Should I keep writing "Fair trade coffee" in the entire third paragraph when describing a trend? It's already mentioned in the first sentence of the paragraph that I am going to talk about "Fair trade coffee". The same thing applies to the fourth paragraph.


I stated that I will describe a trend in two separate years 1999 and 2004 . I feel my writing needs polish. I use from 1999 to 2004 a lot. Is it necessary? Or redundant

I am really sorry for the long piece of writing. I really need your help, comments, and advices. Thank you for all teachers and members who contributed in my thread.

 

[teechar]

The graph breaks down the amount of money spent on Fairtrade coffee and bananas in two separate years 1999 and 2004 in the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden.

Overall, spending on Fairtrade coffee experienced growth in all European those European countries, from 1999 to 2004. [ 1] while sales of Fairtrade bananas witnessed an increase in all European those countries, from 1999 to 2004, except for Belgium and Sweden.

[ 2] In terms of sales of Fair trade coffee in 1999 and 2004. The UK's sales of Fair trade coffee jumped significantly from €1.5 million in 1999 to €20 million in 2004, and also as did Switzerland’s and Denmark's sales, which of Fair trade coffee [ 3] gradually rose from [ 4] €3 million and €1.8 million in 1999 to €6 six million and €2 two million in 2004, respectively. Even Sweden, which started with the lowest figure of only €0.8 million saw a modest increase to €1 million. is the least county of sales of Fair trade coffee with [ 5] approximately €1 one million in 2004.

With regard to sales of Fairtrade bananas, in 1999 and 2004. [ 6] the UK's sales of Fair trade bananas soared dramatically from €15 million in 1999 to [ 7] levelled off at €47 million in 2004. Moreover, Switzerland's sales of Fair trade Bananas gradually climbed from €one €1 million in 1999 at the start to reach € 5.5 million five years later, in 2004, but sales of Fair trade in Sweden saw a slight, ly decline from €2 million in 1999 initially to €0.9 million in 2004, [ ] and Belgium’s sales also decreased, from €1.8 million to just €1 million.
---------------------------------------------
[ 1]: Note the correct punctuation and capitalization. What you wrote was an incomplete sentence.
"whereas", or "while" are conjunctions. You need to learn how to use them.
James is rich, while/whereas Jenny is poor. [ correct]
While/whereas James is rich, Jenny is poor. [ correct]
While/whereas James is rich. [ incorrect]

[ 2]: Again, that is not a complete sentence.

[ 3]: You only have data for two years! How can you see any trend?!

[ 4]: Do not put a space between the currency symbol and the number.

[ 5]: “approximately” is used when you estimate something. Here, you have exact numbers!

[ 6]: Again, note the correct punctuation.

[ 7]: Again, there is no trend to be seen here.

 

[emsr2d2]

Remember to capitalise "Fairtrade" each time you write it. It's a proper noun.

Please note my advice above that I gave you in post #8. You're still writing it as two words. That's OK when you're talking generally about fair trade, but you're not. You're using "Fairtrade" (proper noun) as an adjective.
You can see it written correctly throughout Fairtrade's own website HERE.