CPE writing exercise

[BrunaBC]

Hello,

I am preparing for my Cambridge English examination and I am practising some writing. It`s been quite a long time that I do not write essays so I am not very confident.
I am not asking proofreading, I`m just asking if you could take a peek and tell me your impressions of this piece of writing.

Thanks,



Pleasure Reading and Compulsory Reading.


I am going to briefly summarize both texts and comment on the ideas they approach.
Text one makes a comparison between reading for pleasure and academic obligatory reading. Of course that when you are free to chose, reading becomes much more appealing and fun. In many cases it is an escape from reality and a window to infinite possibilities. Not only it stimulates your imagination, but also it connects you to a realm of feelings. Text one specifically talks about reading and child development and how our kids reading choices can outline their developing personalities.
On the other hand when a reading list is handed to you with academic purposes the whole idea of reading as a pleasurable pastime goes down the drain and can be a rather dull and forlorn duty. I know for myself when I am reading something that connects to me and raises my interest how time goes by quickly, so that when I realise hundred pages are gone without notice. Contrarily, compulsory reading can be compared to sort of an evil medieval torture. You just have to make monstrous effort to keep focus and yourself awake.


Text two discusses how sharing your reading experiences with others can be much more fun and bring people together, and a good way to do so is reading aloud. According to the text, reading aloud can be a relaxing activity for both overworked and stressed adults and also kids. I believe that as part of our natural linguistic development, we learn how to speak much before we learn how to write and read. Therefore there must be something that makes listening to stories rather than reading them silently more engaging. I remember when I was a kid my mom reading bedtime stories for me, and at some point in my childhood I was already able to read, and yet having my mom reading for me was a heart-warming moment.


Whether reading for pleasure or as part of your work and studies reading is part of our lives and it is closely connected to our personal and professional development. Enjoy it.

 

[Tarheel]

Hello,

I am preparing for my Cambridge English examination, and I am practising some writing. It's been quite a long time since I have written any essays, so I am not very confident. I am not asking for proofreading. I'm just asking if you could take a peek and tell me your impressions of this piece of writing.

Thanks,

 

[Tarheel]

Pleasure Reading and Compulsory Reading.


I am going to briefly summarize both texts and comment on the ideas they approach.
Text one makes a comparison between reading for pleasure and academic obligatory reading. Of course, [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] when you are free to choose what you want to read, reading becomes much more appealing and fun. In many cases it is an escape from reality and a window to infinite possibilities. Not only does it stimulate your imagination, but also it connects you to a realm of feelings. Text one specifically talks about reading and child development and how our kids' reading choices can outline their developing personalities.
On the other hand when a reading list is handed to you with academic purposes the whole idea of reading as a pleasurable pastime goes down the drain and can be a rather dull and forlorn duty. I know for myself when I am reading something that connects with me and raises my interest the time goes by quickly, so that when I realise hundred pages are gone without notice. Contrarily, compulsory reading can be compared to sort of an evil medieval torture. You just have to make monstrous effort to keep focus and keep yourself awake.

You can explain ideas. You can advocate ideas. You can talk about ideas. I don't see how you can approach them.

You do a good job of making your point, and it's interesting. I especially like:

In many cases it is an escape from reality and a window to infinite possibilities.

​

(I made several suggestions before I remembered you said you didn't want that.)

 

[BrunaBC]

Thank you very much Tarheel! Your comments are much appreciated!:-D

My examination is this Saturday and I need to catch up on my writing skills. I`ve been focusing too much on reading, in the belief that this would improve my writing. I regret only now I realised how much I need to practice, especially in organising my thoughts and write a cohesive essay.

I`ll post a couple more pieces of writing tomorrow and would appreciate if you could do the same with them.

Thank you very much!

 

[Tarheel]

Thank you very much Tarheel! Your comments are much appreciated!:-D

You're welcome. (I get paid in likes. ;-) )

My examination is this Saturday, and I need to catch up on my writing skills.

That sentence contains two independent clauses, thus the comma.

I've been focusing too much on reading, in the belief that this would improve my writing.

What you've been using for an apostrophe is, in fact, not an apostrophe, but is, I think, an accent mark.

I regret that I just recently realised how much I need to practice, especially in organising my thoughts and writing a cohesive essay.

I'll post a couple more pieces of writing tomorrow and would appreciate if you could do the same with them.

OK, but I won't be back at it until Monday. However, there are plenty who as good at this as I am.

 

[Tarheel]

Text two discusses how sharing your reading experiences with others can be [STRIKE]much more[/STRIKE] fun and bring people together, and a good way to do so is reading aloud. According to the text, reading aloud can be a relaxing activity for both overworked and stressed adults and also kids. I believe that as part of our natural linguistic development, we learn how to speak much before we learn how to read and write. Therefore, there must be something that makes listening to stories rather than reading them silently more engaging. I remember when I was a kid and my mom read bedtime stories to me, and at some point in my childhood I learned to read, and yet having my mom read to me was enjoyable and educational.

To that last sentence you could add something like:

What she gave me was a great gift.​

Whether reading for pleasure or as part of your work and studies, reading is part of our lives and it is closely connected to our personal and professional development. Enjoy it!

Finished!

 

[BrunaBC]

You are great! And the volunteer work you guys do here is just incredible.

Well, if you have some time to check at this one:


School curriculum vs its Application in Real Life.
I remember myself in a maths class enquiring my teacher about the necessity of committing to memory so many maths formulas as I couldn`t see any use in that. Almost 18 years went by and still have not I had the opportunity to apply the formula of Baskara. It gets me wondering if it is not about time we had our school curriculum revised.
Far be it from me advocating against the teaching of math or any exact sciences, actually I think they play a crucial role in our mental and cognitive development. However, other more relevant options could be included in order to enrich students` experience. Topics that, somehow, relate to students` present and future needs so that they are more prepared to face adversities life may impose on them.
To start off, I cannot highlight enough the importance of meditation from early age. There are numerous scientific reports arguing the benefits of meditation both on the students` academic and personal life. It is a valuable tool to help them cope with pressure, anxiety – which is soaring in our modern, fast-paced lifestyle – and most importantly, to raise their self-awareness. Not only does meditation produces all these benefits, but also it has proved to be an efficient way to reduce aggressiveness, consequently keeping bullying at bay.
Another topic which is much relevant to our reality is gardening. Considering all the environmental appeal, including gardening in the curriculum is a fantastic way to engage students, especially kids – who do not miss out an opportunity to play in the soil. There are a number of schools in Brazil which have included this activity in their curriculum and students really seem to enjoy it, because they get to see how the small seed develops into a lettuce, or a carrot or whatever you like. It also encourages them to eat more healthily as they can`t wait to taste to product of their work. Literally.
To conclude, there are many options that could be considered to add up to students` needs, and they will vary vastly depending on students` age, gender and geographical location. The world is evolving, so does our educational system.



Thanks a lot!

 

[Tarheel]

You are great! And the volunteer work you guys do here is just incredible.

Well, if you have time please look at this one:


School curriculum vs [STRIKE]its Application in[/STRIKE] Real Life.
I remember myself in a maths class asking my teacher about the necessity of committing to memory so many maths formulas, as I couldn't see any use in it. Almost 18 years have elapsed, and I still have not had the opportunity to apply the formula of Baskara. It makes me wonder if it is not about time that we had our school curriculum revised.

Far be it for me to advocate against the teaching of math or any other discipline. Actually I think they play a crucial role in our mental and cognitive development. However, other more relevant options could be included in order to enrich students' experience. Topics that, somehow, relate to students' present and future needs so that they are more prepared to face the challenges they will face.

To start off, I cannot highlight enough the importance of meditation from an early age. There are numerous scientific reports arguing the benefits of meditation both on the students` academic and personal life. It is a valuable tool to help them cope with pressure, anxiety – which is soaring in our modern, fast-paced lifestyle – and most importantly, to raise their self-awareness. Not only does meditation produces all these benefits, but also it has proved to be an efficient way to reduce aggressiveness, consequently keeping bullying at bay.

Another topic which is much relevant to our reality is gardening. Considering all the environmental appeal, including gardening in the curriculum is a fantastic way to engage students, especially kids – who do not miss out an opportunity to play in the soil. There are a number of schools in Brazil which have included this activity in their curriculum and students really seem to enjoy it, because they get to see how a small seed develops into a head of lettuce, or a carrot or whatever you like. It also encourages them to eat more healthily as they can't wait to taste to product of their work. Literally.

To conclude, there are many options that could be considered to add up to students' needs, and they will vary vastly depending on students` age, gender and geographical location. The world is evolving, and so should our educational system.



Thanks a lot!

When you start a new topic you should start a new thread.