His whole body hurts

[99bottles]

Someone is being trampled by a panicked crowd running. I want to describe how he feels at that moment. I have thought of two sentences, but, for some reason, neither of them sounds natural in my head.

He feels intense pain.

His whole body hurts.

Is there a more natural way to describe this?

 

[Tdol]

It hurts from head to toe.

 

[5jj]

Every bone in his body feels bruised or broken.

 

[99bottles]

Every bone in his body feels bruised or broken.

Doesn't this sound like what I'd write to describe the aftermath? I want to describe how he felt during the moments he was trampled.

 

[5jj]

OK, but you did write 'is being trampled'. You might be better with 'falls under'.

 

[99bottles]

OK, but you did write 'is being trampled'. You might be better with 'falls under'.

Fell under the running, panicked crowd?

 

[5jj]

Fell under the running, panicked crowd?

OK if you have your reasons for your changes.

You used present simple in your original.
You also used the definite article.

 

[99bottles]

OK if you have your reasons for your changes.

You used present simple in your original.
You also used the definite article.

No, my bad, I didn't want to change the tense. How about this? Is it natural?

He tries to escape, but he falls under the running crowd. He's now being trampled underfoot. His whole body hurts/he feels intense pain/(other option?)

 

[emsr2d2]

To describe how he feels while being trampled by the crowd, I'd use "terrified/panicked/crushed", rather than referring specifically to pain. I think the fear he would be feeling at the time would be stronger than the physical pain. The feelings of pain would probably come after, assuming he survives!