I would love to have your feedback on this text

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Zoli

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Did I spell everything correctly? I think the word "instead" in "accounting with informatics instead" is not needed. Right?

When I started my studies at Aurel Vlaicu University in 2004, the computer science department was relatively new and was not accredited. As a consequence I decided to explore other options and after careful consideration I chose accounting with informatics instead. I saw it as an opportunity to develop a unique set of skills that would complement my passion for technology.
 

Barque

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As a consequence I decided
For some reason I don't think "As a consequence" really fits here.
I therefore decided ...

I think the word "instead" in "accounting with informatics instead" is not needed.
I don't know if you specifically said earlier in the passage that you wanted to study computer science, as implied by your reference to the computer science department.

If you said it, you could keep "instead" or leave it out. If you didn't actually say it, it'd read better if you left out "instead".
 

Zoli

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Thank you. Is it correct to use "Therefore I ..." instead of "I therefore"? I think "Therefore I ..." sounds less formal, even though that is not a problem for me. The text will be used in a spoken context.
 

Barque

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Is it correct to use "Therefore I ..." instead of "I therefore"? I
Yes.

I don't know that it sounds less formal than "I therefore" however.

. The text will be used in a spoken context.
You could use "So" too if it's something you're going to say.
 

dunchee

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emsr2d2

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Both "As a consequence" and "Therefore" need to be followed by a comma before the rest of the sentence.
 
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