laluuuusii
Junior Member
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2021
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Spanish
- Home Country
- Spain
- Current Location
- Spain
I have written this essay for practice for my CAE qualification. I would appreciate some feedback to improve it.
”Your class has been following a series of radio programmes about choices young people have to make and different things that influence them in these choices. You have made the notes below:
-Family and friends
-Money
-Society
Discuss two of them and explain which influence is the most powerful.
INFLUENCES ON YOUNG PEOPLE’S CHOICES
In this day and age, it is common knowledge young people are influenced in several choices they have to make as they start being independent. This essay contemplates what has most bearing on their decisions.
First and foremost, a quintessential example of a complicated choice is one related to careers, university and studies. Families undoubtedly play a paramount role here. Unfortunately, numerous students feel apprehension towards their future. Their decision often affected by what their parents think, whether it is because they do not approve of what they aim to become or due to a matter of family businesses. For instance, parents might not like the idea of their children working on a poorly paid job, or even persuade them to enter the workforce of the business they own.
Modern society tops the list. Adolescents are the ones most influenced by it, in all likelihood because constant use of social media. Young people need to follow an excessive amount of rules so they ensure they fit in. Thus, famous singers or “influencers” are copied and their behaviour rubs off on them, especially in the clothes they wear. I wonder how they would look like if they knew nobody would judge them.
To finish with, I genuinely consider the latter the most influential one. Modern society dictates how young people act, where they hang out, and even how they speak. This results in them doing the exact same things, fearing a faceless crowd that may catalogue their way of behaving as “strange” or “unusual”. Albeit difficult, overcoming this concern would free young people. Little do they know how happier they would be!
”Your class has been following a series of radio programmes about choices young people have to make and different things that influence them in these choices. You have made the notes below:
-Family and friends
-Money
-Society
Discuss two of them and explain which influence is the most powerful.
INFLUENCES ON YOUNG PEOPLE’S CHOICES
In this day and age, it is common knowledge young people are influenced in several choices they have to make as they start being independent. This essay contemplates what has most bearing on their decisions.
First and foremost, a quintessential example of a complicated choice is one related to careers, university and studies. Families undoubtedly play a paramount role here. Unfortunately, numerous students feel apprehension towards their future. Their decision often affected by what their parents think, whether it is because they do not approve of what they aim to become or due to a matter of family businesses. For instance, parents might not like the idea of their children working on a poorly paid job, or even persuade them to enter the workforce of the business they own.
Modern society tops the list. Adolescents are the ones most influenced by it, in all likelihood because constant use of social media. Young people need to follow an excessive amount of rules so they ensure they fit in. Thus, famous singers or “influencers” are copied and their behaviour rubs off on them, especially in the clothes they wear. I wonder how they would look like if they knew nobody would judge them.
To finish with, I genuinely consider the latter the most influential one. Modern society dictates how young people act, where they hang out, and even how they speak. This results in them doing the exact same things, fearing a faceless crowd that may catalogue their way of behaving as “strange” or “unusual”. Albeit difficult, overcoming this concern would free young people. Little do they know how happier they would be!
Last edited:
