[General] Massage from Ambitious

[Economist2010]

"I am writing to you with full hopes and ambitions that you will stand by my side as an Ambitious until I join the company. This is will be something that I will appreciate and that will never forget.

I previously got some interviews in Europe but always it ends up with rejection due to the fact that I am not already available in the country, or that they cannot provide me with accommodation, visa, or because they prefer to hire locals to avoid paying expat package.

This time, I can do anything that facilitate my joining of the company by being available in the country, accepting non-expat package and etc.

I need your support and I am sure that you will be proud of me."

 

[emsr2d2]

What on earth is "an Ambitious"?
Are you sure you meant to write "Massage" in your title?

 

[Economist2010]

What on earth is "an Ambitious"?
Are you sure you meant to write "Massage" in your title?

Oh I am sorry. I meant "message from an Ambitious person"

 

[emsr2d2]

Why have you capitalised "Ambitious"? It's a standard adjective.

 

[Tdol]

Oh I am sorry. I meant "message from an Ambitious person"

I wouldn't use that as a title. You could put ambitious in your profile in your resume, but here, it sounds strange to me.

 

[Economist2010]

I still need someone to edit my first post

 

[emsr2d2]

I still need someone to edit my first post.

Are you taking any notice of our other corrections? We correct everything we see. You have been told that "ambitious" shouldn't be capitalised so now you need to post your message again, correcting that error. While you're reposting, here are some clues for your first paragraph:

1. "full hopes and ambitions" doesn't work.
2. "that you will stand by my side" doesn't work.
3. "as an Ambitious" is wrong, as you have been told.
4. "This is will be" is wrong.
5. There is a missing word in "that I will appreciate and that will never forget".

 

[Economist2010]

Thanks for your comments.

Maybe this mail includes many mistakes as I translated from Arabic. I wonder if you can share with me the equivalent of my above suggestions in English.

Of course I don't know how to correct them

 

[emsr2d2]

I gave you five hints in my previous responses. We are not going to do all the work for you.

 

[Economist2010]

I gave you five hints in my previous responses. We are not going to do all the work for you.

I didn't ask for doing all the work for me. I asked about equivalent/alternatives of what I suggest.

Example:

You said that "full hopes and ambitions" doesn't work. So what will be the alternative as an English native speaker.

Note: I am still learner and if I know how to do it correctly, I would not have been posted on the forum.

Appreciate your understanding and your kind help.

 

[emsr2d2]

I didn't ask [STRIKE]for doing[/STRIKE] you to do all the work for me. I asked about equivalent of/alternatives [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] to what I suggested.

Example:

You said that "full hopes and ambitions" doesn't work. [STRIKE]So[/STRIKE] What [STRIKE]will be the alternative as an English[/STRIKE] would a native English speaker say?

Note: I am still a learner and if I [STRIKE]know[/STRIKE] knew how to [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] write it correctly, I would not have [STRIKE]been[/STRIKE] posted on the forum.

I appreciate your understanding and your [STRIKE]kind[/STRIKE] help.

Please note my corrections above. In a post about half an hour ago, I told you to write in complete sentences, but again you failed to do so. Your final sentence should have started with "I", just like the one in the other thread.

I cannot suggest alternatives to your opening sentence because I have absolutely no idea what you are trying to say. You wrote "I am writing to you with full hopes and ambitions that you will stand by my side as an Ambitious until I join the company." I don't know what you mean! They already know you hope for a job. They already know that your ambition is to work for them. What do you want them to actually do in order to "stand by my side"? I am not clear on the purpose of your letter to the company at all. Have they offered you a job? If not, don't use "until I join the company". It makes no sense.

Who are you writing to?
Have you formally applied for a job with them?
Have they offered you an interview?
Have they offered you a job?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

. . . Who are you writing to?
Have you formally applied for a job with them?
Have they offered you an interview?
Have they offered you a job?

Economist, those are my questions, too.

My impression is that there's a job you want, and you've been asking a senior person at the company to recommend you to the person who will hire you.

Do you know that senior person well?

If you do, a direct conversation would be better. If you don't, then bothering him or her with letters or calls is likely to backfire — even if you offer a massage!

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

"I am writing to you with full hopes and ambitions that you will stand by my side as an Ambitious until I join the company.

That sentence makes no sense.

This is will be something that I will appreciate and that will never forget.

That sentence sounds obsequious.

I previously got some interviews in Europe but always it ends up with rejection due to the fact that I am not already available in the country, or that they cannot provide me with accommodation, visa, or because they prefer to hire locals to avoid paying expat package.

It's usually a bad idea to tell a potential employer about your failures unless you are directly asked to talk about them.

This time, I can do anything that facilitate my joining of the company by being available in the country, accepting non-expat package and etc.

You don't need to explain why this situation is different, either.

I need your support and I am sure that you will be proud of me.

This sentence is also obsquious.

It's clear that you're eager to get this job. I'm sure the employer already knows that.

If several weeks have passed, there's nothing wrong with a neutral (not bragging or begging) inquiry about the status of your application.

 

[Tdol]

If you don't, then bothering him or her with letters or calls is likely to backfire — even if you offer a massage!

As a disabled person with serious back problems, offering me a massage is like offering me a session on the rack. ;-)