Reluctantly, Jack plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

[alpacinou]

Is this okay?

Reluctantly, Jack plugged in the vacuum cleaner. As he pressed the power button, it roared to life, hoovering bits of food on the kitchen floor. His mind wandered to a different place as he moved the vacuum across the parquet floor. A couple of pieces of dried bread under the cabinet caught his eye. As he moved the cleaner to get them, its cable hit three glasses on the kitchen table. They dropped and shattered, scattering shards of glass across the floor. The sound woke Sara who then rushed to the kitchen from her room.

With wide eyes, she scanned the glass-strewn floor, shaking her head. She then stared at Jack with an admonishing gaze. "You just can't do anything right these days, can you?" she said.

 

[Tarheel]

Maybe I would understand "Reluctantly" if I had some context. As it is it seems a bit odd to me.

How the world did the the cord to the vacuum cleaner get to where it could knock things off the kitchen table?

 

[alpacinou]

Maybe I would understand "Reluctantly" if I had some context. As it is it seems a bit odd to me.

How the world did the the cord to the vacuum cleaner get to where it could knock things off the kitchen table?

He doesn't want to do this because he had argument with his partner before. I will omit it for now.

I should mention that the cord is tangled behind the table and he lifts it to untie it, unaware of the glasses.

 

[alpacinou]

So, is this okay?

Jack plugged in the vacuum cleaner. As he pressed the power button, it roared to life, hoovering bits of food on the kitchen floor. He was oblivious to the whine of the engine, allowing his mind to wander to his conversation with Laura as he moved the vacuum across the parquet floor. A couple of pieces of dried bread under the cabinet caught his eye. He moved the vacuum to get them, and realized the cable had been tangled behind the kitchen table's leg. He lifted the cable to untie it, unaware of three glasses on the table. The cable knocked them off and they dropped and shattered, scattering shards of glass across the floor. The sound woke Sara who then rushed to the kitchen from her room.

With wide eyes, she scanned the glass-strewn floor, shaking her head. She then stared at Jack with an admonishing gaze. "You just can't do anything right these days, can you?" she said.

 

[Tarheel]

I think that version is much better.

 

[alpacinou]

Are there no mistakes? I want it edited, if possible.

 

[Tarheel]

I suggest that you use adverbs sparingly.

In the above sentence, "sparingly" is perhaps the key word in the sentence. (The sentence would be meaningless without it.) That is not usually the case.

You have her go into the kitchen any way you want her to. However, there was no need to rush. The damage had already been done.

You made one meaningful change which I was probably the only one to see. (A word changed right before my eyes.)

It looks pretty good to me.

Jack is incredibly clumsy.

 

[alpacinou]

I suggest that you use adverbs sparingly.

In the above sentence, "sparingly" is perhaps the key word in the sentence. (The sentence would be meaningless without it.) That is not usually the case.

There aren't any adverbs here:

Jack plugged in the vacuum cleaner. As he pressed the power button, it roared to life, hoovering bits of food on the kitchen floor. He was oblivious to the whine of the engine, allowing his mind to wander to his conversation with Laura as he moved the vacuum across the parquet floor. A couple of pieces of dried bread under the cabinet caught his eye. He moved the vacuum to get them, and realized the cable had been tangled behind the kitchen table's leg. He lifted the cable to untie it, unaware of three glasses on the table. The cable knocked them off and they dropped and shattered, scattering shards of glass across the floor. The sound woke Sara who then rushed to the kitchen from her room.

With wide eyes, she scanned the glass-strewn floor, shaking her head. She then stared at Jack with an admonishing gaze. "You just can't do anything right these days, can you?" she said.

You made one meaningful change which I was probably the only one to see. (A word changed right before my eyes.)

What do you mean?