Television is an impediment

[alpacinou]

Hello,

Have I used "impediment" correctly in this sentence? Is it okay and natural sounding?

Television double-edged sword. It can be used to educate children. But it can be an impediment to children's education. Also, excessive use of TV can lead to social isolation.

 

[jutfrank]

Television double-edged sword.

Read that again. What's wrong with it?

You've used impediment correctly.

 

[alpacinou]

Sorry I forgot to put "is".

So is this completely okay?

Television is a double-edged sword. It can be used to educate children. But it can be an impediment to children's education. Also, excessive use of TV can lead to social isolation.

 

[jutfrank]

Make sure you properly proofread your sentences several times before sending your original posts.

What do you mean by 'completely' okay?

It's odd that you decided to split your second thought over two separate sentences. Why did you feel the need to do that? I think there are much better ways of expressing this thought.

 

[alpacinou]

Make sure you properly proofread your sentences several times before sending your original posts.

What do you mean by 'completely' okay?

It's odd that you decided to split your second thought over two separate sentences. Why did you feel the need to do that? I think there are much better ways of expressing this thought.

Are you talking about the two negative aspects of television, namely "impeding education" and "social isolation"?

Are you saying I should combine them into one sentence?

 

[jutfrank]

No, I'm talking about the second and third sentences. Either link them together to make a single complex sentence or justify not doing so.

 

[alpacinou]

No, I'm talking about the second and third sentences. Either link them together to make a single complex sentence or justify not doing so.

Is this better?

Television is a double-edged sword. It can be used to educate children. But it can be an impediment to children's education and moreover, excessive use of TV can lead to social isolation.

What is your suggestion?

 

[jutfrank]

I said the second and third sentences, not the third and fourth.

It can be used to educate children. But it can be an impediment to children's education.

Why do you have two sentences here? This is one single contrastive thought. Rewrite it, possibly using although, or something similar.

 

[alpacinou]

I said the second and third sentences, not the third and fourth.

It can be used to educate children. But it can be an impediment to children's education.

Why do you have two sentences here? This is one single contrastive thought. Rewrite it, possibly using although, or something similar.

What about now?

Television is a double-edged sword. Although it can be used to educate children, it can be an impediment to their education. Also, excessive use of TV can lead to social isolation.

 

[jutfrank]

That's better, don't you think?

 

[alpacinou]

That's better, don't you think?

I really do. Thanks.