The most impressive character

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keannu

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Book :A long walk to water by Linda Sue Park.
Title : The most impressive character

I’d like to select Salva as the most impressive character because he experiences the most incidents and also he seems to be an indispensable character in the story.

Salva is an eleven-year-old boy who lives in South Sudan and he goes to school. He is the third son of six siblings. He is a model student at school and his family is rich. Salva’s older brothers went to school and his sisters had to learn how to keep house. A civil war broke out in Sudan and this made him part with his family. Later, he was shocked to hear the news of his family’s death and had to flee from the threat of the war. Finally, he came to be able to live in the USA.

Seeing Salva going through hardships, I felt that I couldn’t endure such hardships if I were him. I hope I can emulate his patience with which he overcame these hardships without giving up.
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If you find some mistakes or awkward expressions, please correct them.
 

emsr2d2

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Book: A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park.
Title: The most impressive character

I’d like to select Salva as the most impressive character because he experiences the most incidents and [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] he [STRIKE]seems to be[/STRIKE] is an indispensable character in the story.

Salva is an eleven-year-old schoolboy who lives in South Sudan. [STRIKE]and he goes to school.[/STRIKE] He is the third [STRIKE]son[/STRIKE] of six siblings. He is a model student [STRIKE]at school[/STRIKE] and his family is rich. Salva’s older brothers went to school and his sisters had to learn how to keep house. A civil war broke out in Sudan [STRIKE]and this made him part with[/STRIKE] causing his family to split up.

Months/Years later, he was shocked to hear the news of his family’s death and he had to flee from the threat of the war. [STRIKE]Finally[/STRIKE] Eventually, he came [STRIKE]to be able[/STRIKE] to live in the USA.

Seeing Salva going through these hardships, I felt that I couldn’t endure such hardships if I were him. I hope I can emulate [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] the [STRIKE]patience[/STRIKE] fortitude with which he overcame these hardships, without ever giving up.

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If you find [STRIKE]some[/STRIKE] any mistakes or awkward expressions, please correct them.

I don't know what you mean by the blue, underlined part.
 

keannu

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I don't know what you mean by the blue, underlined part.

The most numerous incidents or cases or episodes or wharever. The most= the most numbrr of.
 

emsr2d2

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I know what "most" means. I should have been clearer. You need to be more specific than just "incidents". Perhaps you mean something like "terrible things".
 

keannu

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Eventually, he came to be able to live in the USA.
=> But later, he met his father, who he thought was dead and eventually, they were able to go to Rochester in the USA.
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Thanks, but I changed this line. Could you check it out as well?
 

emsr2d2

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"he came to be able to" is unnatural. If you really want to use "able", say "Eventually, he was able to move to the USA".

Weeks/Months/Years later, he was reunited with his father, who he had thought was dead, and they moved to the USA.
 
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