IELTS, letter, please comment on it. Thanks.

[rashidjon]

You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there.
*Ask them for help finding accomodation
*tell them where you would like to live
*Tell them the type of place you are looking for

Dear Sir,

I would like to inform you that I was recently promoted at my job and in near future I am planing to move to your city.

As you are the only person whom I know from that city and you have been living there for a long time I have decided to contact you. First of all, I need your advice and help in finding good accommodation for my family.

As you know there are three of us, me, my wife and our two year old son. One of the my colleagues who had used to live there strongly recommended to find flat not far from the city center. What you can recommend for us? As our child turned just two years old we prefer quiet place. Preferably place with park, playground or such kind of facilities at a close range.

Regarding the type of the accomodation I think that for the first time flat with two bed rooms would be perfect for us. It does not matter if the flat is on a old or ultra modern high store building. We only require that flat should be furnished and with phone or Internet connection.

I would appreciate it If you can help us to fund good shelter for us. If you have any other idea or advice, please feel free and i would be happy to hear from you.

Thank you very much.

With best regards, James John.

[Gillnetter]

You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there.
*Ask them for help finding accomodation
*tell them where you would like to live
*Tell them the type of place you are looking for

Dear Sir,(If you know this person you probably wouldn't start a letter with "Dear Sir" - maybe, "Dear John", or, "Hi Jim".)

I would like to inform you that I was recently promoted at my job and in the near future I am planing planning to move to your city.

As you are the only person whom I know from that city, and you have been living there for a long time, I have decided to contact you. First of all, I need your advice and help in finding good accommodations for my family.

As you know there are three of us, me, my wife and our two year old son. One of the my colleagues who had used to live there strongly recommended to that we find a flat not far from the city center. What you can recommend for us? As our child turned just two years old we prefer a quiet place. Preferably a place with a park, playground or such kind of facilities at a close range.

Regarding the type of the accomodations I think that for the first time a flat with two bedrooms would be perfect for us. It does not matter if the flat is on in a old or ultra modern high store rise building. We only require that the flat should be furnished and with phone or Internet connection.

I would appreciate it if you can help us to fund find good shelter for us. If you have any other ideas or advice, please feel free to tell them to me and I would be happy to hear from you.

Thank you very much.

With best regards, James John.

gil

[tedtmc]

A few suggestions:

Regarding the type of the accomodations, I think that for the first time a flat with two bedrooms would be perfect for us. It does not matter if the flat is on in an old or ultra modern highrise store building. We only require that the flat should be furnished and with phone or internet connection.

I would appreciate it if you canwould help us to find a good shelter for us. If you have any other ideas or advice, please feel free to tell them to me and I would be happy to hear from you.

not a teacher