can you plz correct and grade my essay!!

[nogy]

hi i am going to do my ielts(academic) exam in a couple of weeks and i need HELP urgently... this is an essay i wrote and i would be grateful if anyone could correct it..

Writing task 2
the question is .. As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work,job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.what factors contribute to job satisfaction?
how realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?(write 250 words)

my answer:
To begin with,the "job satisfaction" topic was,is and will continue to be a vital topic for as long as humans survive.Personally,i think that job satisfaction is important to any individual,as it gives them that "push" they need to go an extra mile.It motivates them to give out all of their potential and makes them work to the best of their ability.
So where from will a worker get that "push"? Well,certainly,from their employers in various forms such as,fringe benefits or maybe share options and many more.Since workers expect to be provided a certain treatment and benefits so does the company which hired that employee.
The main reason for providing these things is the profits which is the main goal of any successful business.Thus,in order to attain their goal, busnisses must look for ways to satisfy their workers,in other words,praise them when they've done a good job or give them a certificate of appreciation,perhaps.Employers can also start a competetion that is built on quality not quantity and the worker who makes the best quality bunch gets an extra pay.

In conclusion,the ways of providing job satisfaction and the feeling of comfort an well being in aworkplace are endless, but, a worker should strive to achieve that in order for the equation to be balanced.

[tedtmc]

To begin with,the "job satisfaction" topic was, is and will continue to be a vital topic for as long as humans survive.(1) Personally,i think that Job satisfaction is important to any individual, as it gives them that "push" they need to go an the extra mile.It motivates them to give out all of exploit their potential fully and makes them work to the best of their ability.
So where from will does a worker get that "push"? Well,certainly (,) from their employers in various forms of incentives such as (,)fringe benefits or maybe share options and many more.Since workers expect to be provided a certain treatment well treated and given benefits, so does the company which hired s the employees.
The main reason for providing the company or employer to provide these things to the worker/employee is the profits which is the main goal of any successful business.Thus, in order to attain their goal, businesses must look for ways to satisfy their workers(,). In other words,praise them when they've done a good job or give them a certificate of appreciation,perhaps. Employers can also start organize a competition competition that is built on quality, not quantity and the worker who makes the best quality bunch gets an extra pay. a raise in salary. (what do you mean by 'makes the best quality bunch? the top performer?)
In conclusion,the ways of providing the workers with job satisfaction and the feeling of comfort and well being in a workplace are endless, but (,) a worker should strive to achieve that by playing their part in terms of work output in order for the equation to be balanced.

not a teacher

[nogy]

To begin with,the "job satisfaction" topic was, is and will continue to be a vital topic for as long as humans survive.(1) Personally,i think that Job satisfaction is important to any individual, as it gives them that "push" they need to go an the extra mile.It motivates them to give out all of exploit their potential fully and makes them work to the best of their ability.
So where from will does a worker get that "push"? Well,certainly (,) from their employers in various forms of incentives such as (,)fringe benefits or maybe share options and many more.Since workers expect to be provided a certain treatment well treated and given benefits, so does the company which hired s the employees.
The main reason for providing the company or employer to provide these things to the worker/employee is the profits which is the main goal of any successful business.Thus, in order to attain their goal, businesses must look for ways to satisfy their workers(,). In other words,praise them when they've done a good job or give them a certificate of appreciation,perhaps. Employers can also start organize a competition competition that is built on quality, not quantity and the worker who makes the best quality bunch gets an extra pay. a raise in salary. (what do you mean by 'makes the best quality bunch? the top performer?)
In conclusion,the ways of providing the workers with job satisfaction and the feeling of comfort and well being in a workplace are endless, but (,) a worker should strive to achieve that by playing their part in terms of work output in order for the equation to be balanced.

not a teacher

thanks alot tedtmc i appreciate it ...actually i was hoping you'd give me a band (grade) for my essay ??