13) Sarah - 14) Ahmed is in the garden
Quote:
Sorry teachers if I annoyed you. I want to be so kind with you dears.
13) Sarah
Sarah is a polite girl. She helps her family with her works. She spends her leisure time to breed her pets. She has three chickens and four rabbits. She breeds the chickens in the morning, and fetches the rabbits some grass. Right now, the chickens are picking up the cereal, while the rabbits are eating the grass. Sarah likes her chickens and rabbits and brings her family the egg of the chickens and the meat of the rabbits.
14) Ahmed is in the garden
This is Ahmed. He did his homework and wrote his lesson. Now, he is in the garden, clapping and laughing happily. He is running behind a beautiful butterfly. He is running on the green grass. Ahmed is walking among the trees and smelling the rose and the jasmine. He is a polite and clean boy. He doesn’t pluck the flowers, cut the branches, stain his clothes, play with dirt and mud at all. Now, he is jumping, running and playing. He enjoys with a good health.
Re: 13) Sarah - 14) Ahmed is in the garden
Quote:
Originally Posted by
atchan 
13) Sarah
Sarah is a polite girl. She helps her family with
her (she can't help herself. Does she help them with "their" jobs?) works jobs or chores. She spends her leisure time
to breed
ing*
her pets. She has three chickens and four rabbits. She breeds* the chickens in the morning, and fetches the rabbits some grass.
Right now, the chickens are picking up the cereal, while the rabbits are eating the grass. (I don't understand why you have suddenly gone into the present continuous and started telling us what is happening "right now". The rest of the piece is simply a description of how Sarah spends her time.) Sarah likes her chickens and rabbits
, and brings her family the
chickens' egg
s of the chickens and the meat of the rabbits.
*Please check the definition of "to breed". I have a feeling it's not the word you want. 14) Ahmed is in the garden
This is Ahmed. He did his homework and
wrote his lesson (what do you mean? The person who usually writes the lesson is the teacher!). Now, he is in the garden, clapping and laughing happily. He is running behind a beautiful butterfly. He is running on the green grass. Ahmed is walking among the trees and smelling the rose
s and the jasmine. He is a polite and clean boy. He doesn’t pluck the flowers, cut the branches, stain his clothes
or play with dirt and mud at all. Now, he is jumping, running and playing. He enjoys
with a good health.
See above.
Re: 13) Sarah - 14) Ahmed is in the garden
Thank you very much my teacher.
(she can't help herself. Does she help them with "their" jobs?) I meant with her ability. Is it OK?
Breed – I meant feed. Isn’t it?
Right now, the chickens are picking up the cereal, while the rabbits are eating the grass. (I don't understand why you have suddenly gone into the present continuous and started telling us what is happening "right now". The rest of the piece is simply a description of how Sarah spends her time.) Now, I realized that it was wrong. I will rewrite it again. - The chickens pick up the cereals, while the rabbits eat the grass.
wrote his lesson (what do you mean? The person who usually writes the lesson is the teacher!). – I don’t know. In Arabic language they said after having a translation “he did his homework and wrote his lessons” while in English same strange. Can you please explain?
Re: 13) Sarah - 14) Ahmed is in the garden
Quote:
Originally Posted by
atchan Thank you very much my teacher.
(she can't help herself. Does she help them with "their" jobs?) I meant with her ability. Is it OK?
Once you've said "She helps with..." you need to follow it with the action she is actually helping with. "She helps with the housework", "She helps with feeding the animals", for example.
Breed – I meant feed. Isn’t it?
Feed makes much more sense!
Right now, the chickens are picking up the cereal, while the rabbits are eating the grass. (I don't understand why you have suddenly gone into the present continuous and started telling us what is happening "right now". The rest of the piece is simply a description of how Sarah spends her time.) Now, I realized that it was wrong. I will rewrite it again. - The chickens pick up the cereals, while the rabbits eat the grass.
The chickens peck at the cereal, while the rabbits eat the grass.
wrote his lesson (what do you mean? The person who usually writes the lesson is the teacher!). – I don’t know. In Arabic language they said after I translated “he did his homework and wrote his lessons” while in English same strange. Can you please explain?
I think "He did/has done his homework" will suffice. You take lessons in school, not at home (unless you actually have a teacher who comes to your house).
See above.
Re: 13) Sarah - 14) Ahmed is in the garden
Thank you very much for your kind manner and I am really appreciate you.
