IELTS cue card help pls review my answer

[sophisticated001]

Describe a success you have had. You should say: what it was and when it happened why you chose this area of activity how easy or difficult it was to achieve * and explain how important this success was

Answer

My topic is describe success I had. I won 2^nd place in singing competition a year back. I had always a passion to become a singer. I always rushed to seek participation in any of my school or youth festival’s singing competition. But I always fail to clear qualification stages. There was talent hunt competition organized by “times of India” in my city. Dragging along with numerous failures I opted to give a shot at it. Every time I use to compete with willingness to win but this time I took it lightly. This time I was much relaxed during the qualifying rounds. To my shock I got selected for the finals which were supposed to be held a week later. Qualifying among hundreds of singer gave confidence; I practiced something like 12 hours a day for the final competition. It gave me new hope to fulfil my passion to sing. Singing in front of large audience was very nervous but very exciting experience for me. I won second price which is my most cherished success of all time. Achieving it was very difficult the road of this success had lot of initial bumps. Loss of confidence and emotional setbacks were really hard to deal in with. Today in my life I am never scared of any worst situation of life. I don’t give up easily or neither think of quitting any difficult work. Success truly changes life.

[HanibalII]

Describe a success you have had. You should say: what it was and when it happened why you chose this area of activity how easy or difficult it was to achieve * and explain how important this success was

Answer

My topic is describe success I had. I won 2^nd place in singing competition a year ago. back. I had always had a passion to become a singer. I always rushed to participate seek participation in any of my schools or youth festival’s singing competitions. But I always failed to clear qualification stages. There was a talent hunt competition organized by “times of India” in my city. Dragging along with numerous failures I opted to give a it a shot at it. Every time I used to compete with willingness to win but this time I took it lightly. This time I was much more relaxed during the qualifying rounds. To my shock I got selected for the finals which were supposed to be held a week later. Qualifying among hundreds of singers gave confidence; I practiced something like 12 hours a day for the final competition. It gave me new hope to fulfill my passion to sing. Singing in front of a large audience made me was very nervous but it was a very exciting experience for me. I won second price which is my most cherished success of all time. Achieving it was a very difficult time and the road of this to success had lot of initial bumps. Loss of confidence and emotional setbacks were really hard to deal in with. I am never scared of a situation in my life. I don't give up easily or think of quitting difficult work.Today in my life I am never scared of any worst situation of life. I don’t give up easily or neither think of quitting any difficult work. Success truly changes life.

A few recommended changes.


I've refrained from changing the complete structure of your sentences, there are a lot of sentences that you could merge. However I feel you will be more able to understand it in it's current format than a complete change.

[sophisticated001]

Thank you Sir ....