Help with 3 sentences

[larpa]

Hello,

I'm writing my motivation letter and I am a little uncertain about some sentences. Not sure are my sentence structures correct and do I use commas correctly.

Here are the sentences:

"I would not consider myself as a very technical person but with the help of usability know-how, high technology applications can be improved."

"My main interest is usability study; I like its humane nature and the fact that usability really makes a difference for the end-users."

"Thus I believe that if I do my master’s thesis in co-ordination with you, it will benefit both sides."



So are these sentences written correctly?

Thanks in advance.

[sarat_106]

Hello,

I'm writing my motivation letter and I am a little uncertain about some sentences. Not sure are my sentence structures correct and do I use commas correctly.

Here are the sentences:

""I would not consider myself (as) a person with highly technical ability but with the help of usability know-how, high technology applications it can be improved."

"My main/prime interest is usability study; I like its humane nature and the fact that usability really makes a lot of difference for the end-users."

"Thus I believe that if I do my master’s thesis in coordination with you, it will benefit both sides."


So are these sentences written correctly?

Thanks in advance.

Delete words in brackets

[larpa]

Thank you very much. The first sentence is still a bit tricky and I think I will have to edit it.

The first part "I would not consider myself a person with highly technical ability" obviously refers to me since usability study ain't that technical.

Then the second part "but with the help of usability know-how, high technology applications can be improved" tries to be somekind of generalization which doesn't refer to me anymore. Something like one's know-how in usability helps others to make better high technology applications and products.

So is it correct if it's said like that? This is by far the trickiest sentence (also very important to say) and some how it still feels a bit stupid. I am trying to say something like that I am not a technical person but things that i know (about usability) are very important when developing and researching high technology applications.

Ok this is not grammar anymore but if someone has any ideas how to say that, would be great.

[larpa]

Ok, now I have few sentences more which need some proof-reading:

"From those courses, I should gain a good foundation/base to continue my language studies later in Japan"

"There are some silmilarities in research areas between X and Y" - uncertain about the preposition

"For example my research theme could be(?) about usability evaluation or usability requirement study for existing research subjects" - existing research subjects is trying to refer both evaluation and requirement study.

"My research subject can be specified during the upcoming autumn term, before I acctually come to Japan"

So I am still a bit uncertain about these sentences..

Thanks in advance!

[sarat_106]

Ok, now I have few sentences more which need some proof-reading:

"From those courses, I should gain a good foundation/base to continue my language studies later in Japan"

"There are some silmilarities in the areas of research (areas) between X and Y" - uncertain about the preposition

"For example my research theme could be(?) about usability evaluation or usability requirement study for existing research subjects" - existing research subjects is trying to refer both evaluation and requirement study.

"My research subject can be specified/finalised during the upcoming autumn term, before I acctually come to Japan"

So I am still a bit uncertain about these sentences..

Thanks in advance!

Hi larpa, Your senteces are ok. I have given one or two alternative suggestions. How about this sentence: I would not consider myself a person with highly technical ability but am confident, with the help of usability know-how, high technology applications can be made more useful/meaningful

[larpa]

Hi larpa, Your senteces are ok. I have given one or two alternative suggestions. How about this sentence: I would not consider myself a person with highly technical ability but am confident, with the help of usability know-how, high technology applications can be made more useful/meaningful

Thanks again for the correction. I think your suggestion is pretty good, just need to modify it a bit so that the style of the sentence fits to my text.