could you give me some comments on my TOEFL essay
TOPIC: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can learn more from watching television than reading books. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There would certainly lead to a controversy when it comes to the argument that people can learn more from watching television than reading books. Although television has enormous influence on modern society that even children’s first story they can retell not from parents but television, I still hold the belief that people can learn more knowledge by reading books.
Firstly, reading books cultivates abstract thinking and improve people’s intellect. A science research has revealed that in the process of reading, cerebrum will work on converting words information into imagines in order to understand and memorize. Therefore, it can improve people’s brain power. It is reported that some scientist have developed a therapy that teaching patients Chinese characters to exercise and strength the relevant region in brain in order to improve patients’ condition.
Secondly, being abstract into words, books contain abundant information with concise language and well organization. Our text books and dictionaries set a good example to demonstrate that. Moreover, books have longer history than television, and have been proved to be an effective way of learning. We can find those successful men in world seldom like watching TV; instead, they all like reading have read a lot of books.
Furthermore, as far as connivance and liberty are concerned, television is not as good as books as well. Someone may argue that television contains much information with applying multimedia to programs which made it lively and interesting. However, during the program, endless advertisement which always interpreting the most interesting part would waste lots of time. In addition, no TV program can be casted without certain permission of administrators. Therefore, the information we get from television is what be filtrated, namely, we have not the freedom to choose. On the contrary, we have a broad range of books to choose according to our interests and needs.
To sum up, television programs usually illustrate lively and interesting videos. However, considering advertisement and limitation, I believe that people can benefit more from books than television because of more freedom to choose and more knowledge to get.
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