[Essay] agree or disagree: Youth is wasted on the young ?

[hieppham90]

Here is my essay, please comment and grade it. And if possible, please leave comments on my grammar and word using because I think they are very important to have a perfect essay. I am glad to read any words about your opinion. Thank you in advance


Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:

Youth is wasted on the young ?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

---**---

“Youth is wasted on the young” - some people have said that. I disagree with this statement. Perhaps they are right, but there are still some reasons to prove that they are wrong in some ways.
There are so many young people who use their time contributing to the society. They study and cooperate to make the world a better place for human. They unite in many global cooperation to feed the starving people in the Third World countries, protect the environment with such activities as cleaning the beach, saving animals… In time of war in the Middle East, students in many colleges and universities have raised their voice, pressing the Government to withdraw troops, and their contribution to the protection of the world’s peace cannot be ignored by anybody.
For many decades, the world has seen and heard about the story of a young person who showed his appreciation of youth time by working non-stop to establish the world’s most famous and powerful computer technology corporation which is widely known as Microsoft. Bill Gates actually and apparently did not waste his youth, he used it effectively on such admirable things as studying and inventing. Also, a large amount of the tremendous profit he earned has been donated to many humane fund to support the development of human.
Apparently, forbidden fruit is sweetest, and though many young people have wasted their invaluable time on trivial things and bad stuff like drug, gambling and crime, many of them have managed to get up and begin from scratch. I myself admire that, their youth then is not wasted too much but used in a particular way.
Nowadays, with the development of the world in many fields, the contribution of the young is very important. The society needs to pay attention to orienting the young, keeping them aware of their own worth. Only by doing so can we make the young do the right thing in the right way.

[Raymott]

Originally Posted by hieppham90

Here is my essay, please comment and grade it. And if possible, please leave comments on my grammar and word using because I think they are very important to have a perfect essay. I am glad to read any words about your opinion. Thank you in advance


Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:

Youth is wasted on the young ?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

---**---

“Youth is wasted on the young” - some people have said that.
[This is obvious since it's the topic. It's unnecessary, unless you're going to present it in a new way.]
I disagree with this statement. Perhaps they are right, but there are still some reasons to prove that they are wrong in some ways.
[This equivocation is awkward]
There are so many young people who use their time contributing to the society. They study and cooperate to make the world a better place for human. They unite in many global cooperation to feed the starving people in the Third World countries, protect the environment with such activities as cleaning the beach, saving animals… In time of war in the Middle East, students in many colleges and universities have raised their voice, pressing the Government to withdraw troops, and their contribution to the protection of the world’s peace cannot be ignored by anybody.
[This is a list of good things that young people do. But older people also do these things.]

For many decades, the world has seen and heard about the story of a young person who showed his appreciation of youth time by working non-stop to establish the world’s most famous and powerful computer technology corporation which is widely known as Microsoft. Bill Gates actually and apparently did not waste his youth, he used it effectively on such admirable things as studying and inventing. Also, a large amount of the tremendous profit he earned has been donated to many humane fund to support the development of human.
[ He could have done this as an older man]

Apparently, forbidden fruit is sweetest, and though many young people have wasted their invaluable time on trivial things and bad stuff like drugs, gambling and crime, many of them have managed to get up and begin from scratch. I myself admire that; their youth then is not wasted too much but used in a particular way.
Nowadays, with the development of the world in many fields, the contribution of the young is very important. [You don't say why]
The Society needs to pay attention to orienting the young, keeping them aware of their own worth. Only by doing so can we make the young do the right thing in the right way.

I don't think you've penetrated to the real point of this saying in the topic.
What do you think it actually means?

[hieppham90]

I appreciate your comment, thank you very much for this. I understand the point of the topic, which is "The young is wasting their time of youth" but the problem is that I cannot find an appropriate way to demonstrate and support my ideas. It is obvious that I didn't do well on my essay because there are still many mistakes in my writing. I will try more next time.
Once more, thank you and I hope you will comment on my next essays.

[Raymott]

Originally Posted by hieppham90

I appreciate your comment, thank you very much for this. I understand the point of the topic, which is "The young is wasting their time of youth" ...

It's a difficult topic.
If you do a search for "Youth is wasted on the young" you will find that a lot of people would disagree with your understanding, as I do. That is why I say you haven't addressed the topic well.
It doesn't mean primarily that the young are wasting their youth.
"Prime quality steak is wasted on dogs" doesn't mean that dogs waste prime quality steak if it's given to them.

[konungursvia]

I didn't think it meant that young people waste their time. I thought it meant that they have energy and health that older people only wish they had, and the older people know much better how to make good use of this energy -- travelling, hobbies, writing books, making films, whereas young people lack direction, focus and passion compared to us old folks.

[Raymott]

Originally Posted by konungursvia

I didn't think it meant that young people waste their time. I thought it meant that they have energy and health that older people only wish they had, and the older people know much better how to make good use of this energy -- travelling, hobbies, writing books, making films, whereas young people lack direction, focus and passion compared to us old folks.

Yes, I thought it meant that too, but I put it to hieppham90 that he misunderstood the term, and he rejected that. He has not even mentioned older people.

[Ann1977]

Originally Posted by Raymott

I don't think you've penetrated to the real point of this saying in the topic.
What do you think it actually means?

I utterly lacked the heart to edit this essay because the writer so completely misunderstood the prompt.