[Essay] plz correct my essay~~~~~~~~~~~

[nara2008]

Education play(s) an(a) significant role in an individual's life. Therefore, in order to make sure a better prospect, some people think that free education is necessary for the majority. Speaking of myself, I am convinceing) that education should be free both in elementary (primary) and secondary[JC1]education, but not teriary(tertiary) education.

There are many sound reasons for the government to doing so. To begin with, there is [JC2] a definite link between people's literary rate and the nation's productivity. As the world advanced rapidly, many labor-intensive indusries(industries) are now transform(ing) into a technoloy-intensive one(s), which require workers with higher knowledge and ability[JC3] toward their occupations. Moreover, the government already gain money from taxpayers. correspondingly, it is quite reasonable for their children to receive free educaion in some levels. [JC4] For example, in china free elementary and secondary education has already become a dispensable part of our welfare system and this policy (has) benefit(/benefits) hundreds of thousands of people(students) every year, especially in less developed ares(areas).


However, when it comes to teriary(tertiary) education, i do not think they can only be supported by the government. [JC5]Unlike elementary and secondary schools, university(universities) are generally committed to a professional study of a specialization, which require high level of facilities[JC6] and teaching resources. If university do not charge tution(tution) fee(s), they might probably suffer from finacial(financial) crisis, which would result in a lower teaching quality and fewer (opportunities) to its students.

As it is dicussed above, I hold the opionion that it is the government's (responsibility) to offer free basic education (to its valued citizens). In the long term, however, [JC7]i expect there will be more well-support free universities and colleges so that everyone could have the access to teriary education,thus create a more wealthy and flourishing society.

[nara2008]

the topic is "do u think the governemt should provide free education to all of its people?"

this is an essay for ielts test

plz give me some suggestion~~thank you~~

[nara2008]

why there's no reply......come on...

[frankjohnli]

Do you see the red in your post? I think a teacher has already corrected yours.