help for a cover letter, please

Dear Sir/Madam
Call the company and ask the receptionist for the name of the person who will read your letter. Don't be shy about telling her why you want to know.
> Use a colon after the person's name
Dear Ms. Gordon:

I wish to apply for the position of ‘Java Analyst Programmer / Developer’ as advertised on the web site jobsite.co.uk on the 10th October , 2009.
> Don't put the job name in quotes
> the date is not standard
> Close up the comma after "October"
I am applying for the position of Java Analyst Programmer/Developer that was advertised on jobsite.co.uk on 10 October, 2009.

(new paragraph)
Having graduated from The University of Northumbria majoring in Software Engineering,
I have a BS in Software Engineering from the University of Northumbria.

I am now working as an IT volunteer at a reputable automotive company.
In my current position, I am responsible for design, development and maintenance of the company website. I have also implemented an e-commerce system to the website and the sales have increased 10% compared to the previous two months.
I am currently engaged in the development and maintenance of a corporate website which I designed. I also implemented an e-commerce system for this website that increased sales by 10%.

(New paragraph)
I am a highly motivated person who works hard to accomplish my goal. Also I am detail oriented and able to work under pressure.
I want the opportunity to expand on my understanding of software development and professional skills in IT. I am keen to learn new technologies and to improve and maintain on my existing skills.
> Don't give the company the feeling that you want to use them to learn things you don't already know
I'm hard-working and goal-driven, and strongly motivated to succeed. I have an eye for detail, and I thrive under pressure. The job you described suits my abilities and interests perfectly.

With my relevant working experience and educational background, I believe I am qualified for the position in your company.
I believe that my experience and education make me an ideal fit for this position. I'm keen to fill it, and I know that I will give complete satisfaction.

(new paragraph)
Attached, is my resume and I am eagerly awaiting an opportunity to discuss my application further at an interview.
> no comma after "attached"
> But the first half of the sentence has no relationship to the second half
> I think you should delete it. If they can't see that your resume is attached, they are morons.
> It's not your "application" you want to discuss; it's your candidacy
I'm looking forward to the opportunity for a personal interview.

Yours sincerely,
John Lastname (handwritten in ink)
John Lastname (typed)

1) Don't forget to include the ways to reach you
(mailing address, email address, home phone, cell phone)
2) Don't forget to date the letter at the top right
3) everything else but the date can start flush with the left margin
4) Use Bookman Old Style font, size 12
5) Set the default for 1.5 line spacing
(NOTE: If this looks wrong, you'll have to use 1.0 single spacing. Look and see which choice is best.)
6) Modify the line spacing between paragraphs to 2.0 (Don't just hit "enter" twice to space between paragraphs. If you're using a 1.5 line space, doing so will give you a space between paragraphs of 3.0 -- which is too much.)
7) Let the letter be short. It should not fill the page.
8) Try to give the letter a balanced appearance -- nice margins, good spaces down from the headings, etc. If you don't know, ask your mother or girlfriend to make it attractive and balanced.
9) You can create your own letterhead on Word. This is a good place to put your contact details. Make it a plain business-looking letterhead, not a fancy social one.
10) Have the letter printed in a shop on good-quality white paper unless your printer can do the job well enough. Don't use copier paper.

Best wishes!