[Essay] Can you help me with this essay?Thank you

[cherry88cn]

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.



The line graph demonstrates the percentages of senior citizens (at least 76 years old) in USA, Sweden and Japan from 1940 to 2040.

We can clearly see fluctuations in this graph. In 1940, the figures for USA, Sweden and Japan were 9%, 7% and 5% respectively. As for Sweden and USA, the percentage grew from 1940 to 1980, reached 14% and 15% respectively. After that, the proportion of American elder people remained and will be stable untill 2020. From then on, the figure will jump dramatically from about 15% in 2020 to approximately 23% in 2040. While Sweden will experience an evident up and down trend then rocket to 25% in 2040. Notwithstanding this trend at all, Japanese older people’ percentage decreased a little to 3% in 1960, then became stable to about 1985. A slow increase happened in Japan from 1985 to 2030(10%). At last, after a dramatic rise, the number will come to 28% in 2040, passing America and Sweden.

It seems the general trend of aged people percentage is rising and will rise notably within next 3 decades.

[Raymott]

Originally Posted by cherry88cn

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.



The line graph demonstrates the percentages of senior citizens (at least 76 years old)
Not according to the information you've been given, which says "over 65". Where did you get the number 76 from?
Also note that people aged 65 are "65 years and over", but are not yet at "least 66 years old".
in USA, Sweden and Japan from 1940 to 2040.
You might like to add that part of the graph is a projection. We do not know the populations for 2020, for example. That's primarily a fault in the question topic though.

We can clearly see fluctuations in this graph. In 1940, the figures for USA, Sweden and Japan were 9%, 7% and 5% respectively. As for Sweden and USA, the percentage grew from 1940 to 1980, reached 14% and 15% respectively. After that, the proportion of American elder people remained and will be ["are expected to be" - you probably should consider changing all instances of this.] stable untill 2020. From then on, the figure will jump dramatically from about 15% in 2020 to approximately 23% in 2040. While Sweden will experience an evident up and down trend then rocket to 25% in 2040. Notwithstanding this trend at all, Japanese older people’ percentage decreased a little to 3% in 1960, then became stable to about 1985. A slow increase happened in Japan from 1985 to 2030(10%). At last, after a dramatic rise, the number will come to 28% in 2040, passing America and Sweden.

It seems the general trend of aged people percentage is rising and will rise notably within next 3 decades.

The two things that strike me immediately are:
- In all three countries there is an expected rise from 5-10% in 1940 to 23-27% in 2040.
- The rate in Japan is expected to remain relatively low until ~2030, after which the rate is expected to rise dramatically to pass the other two countries by 2040.