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  #1  
Old 12-Nov-2009, 07:49
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Default describing graph




The graph shows the percentage of unemployed people in the United States and Japan from 1993 to 1999. According to the graph, the two figures show opposition inclinations.

In March 1993, 7.0 percentage of people in the United States was unemployed. The number decreases gradually to 5.5 in March 1996 and continued to decrease to 5.0 by March 1997. Since then (March 1997-March 1998), it fluctuated slightly around 5.0 percent. In contract, the rate of unemployment in Japan were only 2.5 percent at the beginning (March 1993). By 1998, it increased to 5.0 percent and in the next year (Mar 98-Mar 99), it fluctuated slightly around 5.0 percent.

Overall, there was a decrease in the rate of the United States by 2.0 percent, while there was a 2.5 percent increase for Japan. At the end of the period, the two figures reached a plateau by 5.0 percent.

Please help me correct my writing. Thanks.

I've made a mistake. I posted two threads with the same content. Can any moderator help me delete the previous?
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Old 12-Nov-2009, 12:38
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Originally Posted by san2612 View Post



Please help me correct my writing. Thanks.
The graph shows the percentage of unemployed people in the United States and Japan from 1993 to 1999. According to the graph, the two figures show opposing[1] (tion) inclinations/trends[2].

In March 1993, 7.0 percentage of people in the United States were[3] (was) unemployed. The number/percentage[4] decreases gradually to 5.5 in March 1996 and continued to decrease to 5.0 by March 1997. Since then (March 1997-March 1998), it fluctuated slightly around 5.0 percent. In contract, the rate of unemployment in Japan was[5] (were) only 2.5 percent at the beginning (March 1993). By 1998, it increased to 5.0 percent and in the next year (Mar 98-Mar 99), it fluctuated slightly around 5.0 percent.

Overall, there was a decrease in the rate in respect of the United States by 2.0 percent, while there was a 2.5 percent increase for Japan. At the end of the period, the two figures reached a plateau and remained at (by) 5.0 percent.

Please help me correct my writing. Thanks.

I've made a mistake. I posted two threads with the same content. Can any moderator help me delete the previous?


[1] Opposing is adjective and opposition is noun

[2] Trends is an alternative wird.

[3] Percentage is countable and plural. So use plural verb.

[4] If you use number then put percentage symbol (%) after 5.5 and 5.00

[5] Rate is countable and here singular form is used which justifies singular verb.



I've made a mistake. I posted two threads with the same content. Can any moderator help me delete the previous?

See foot notes for clarifications and delete words in brackets.


SKP
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Old 12-Nov-2009, 23:35
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Default Re: describing graph

Overall, there was a decrease in the rate of the United States by 2.0 percent, while there was a 2.5 percent increase for Japan. At the end of the period, the two figures reached a plateau by 5.0 percent.

You need to be careful when you say "an increase of/by x%".
An increase in the unemployment rate from 2.5% to 5% is a 100% increase in the unemployment rate. There are twice as many unemployed, not 2.5% more.
Sometimes this is described as a 2.5 percentage point rise.
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Old 13-Nov-2009, 14:11
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Default Re: describing graph

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Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
Overall, there was a decrease in the rate of the United States by 2.0 percent, while there was a 2.5 percent increase for Japan. At the end of the period, the two figures reached a plateau by 5.0 percent.

You need to be careful when you say "an increase of/by x%".
An increase in the unemployment rate from 2.5% to 5% is a 100% increase in the unemployment rate. There are twice as many unemployed, not 2.5% more.
Sometimes this is described as a 2.5 percentage point rise.
So should I write: "Overall, there was a decrease in the rate of unemployment in the United States by 2.0 percent point, while there was a 2.5 percent point rise for Japan. "?
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Old 13-Nov-2009, 14:29
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Default Re: describing graph

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Originally Posted by sarat_106 View Post
At the end of the period, the two figures reached a plateau and remained at (by) 5.0 percent.
Should I write 'At the end of the period, the two figures reached almost the same percentage (around 5.0)' ?
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Old 13-Nov-2009, 14:41
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Default Re: describing graph

The two figures converged.
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Old 13-Nov-2009, 15:33
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Default Re: describing graph

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Originally Posted by san2612 View Post
So should I write: "Overall, there was a decrease in the rate of unemployment in the United States by 2.0 percent points, while there was a 2.5 percent point rise for Japan. "?
Yes, that's one way you could describe it.
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