Toefl essay~ need help to correct

[san2612]

Hi, everyone
Can you correct my Toefl essay? All comments are welcome.

Topic: Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer?

Some people prefer independent learning while others highlight the importance of teachers. I belong to the latter group.

Many students complain that it is not efficient to study with a teacher, for the teacher always tell them certain knowledge without teaching them how to think independently. However, there are some difficult exercises which students cannot understand without asking a teacher or it may take them plenty of time to think independently. Thus, learning alone may waste students lots of time and energy to understand an exercise.

Learning with a teacher, on the other hand, helps students grasp vital concepts more quickly and easily. By giving their own knowledge and experience, teachers help their students identify common mistakes and avoid them. For example, my English teacher corrects my writing and advises me how to write better, which helps improve my writing skill.

In addition to this, teachers make learning more enjoyable and fun for their students. When learning with a teacher, I do not become as bored as getting information from books and am able to concentrate on the lessons. My teacher often holds some learning activities such as play classroom games related to the subject or teaches us some English songs to make us enjoy our studies.

Therefore, it is always better to have a teacher beside students to guide them and to help them in their development. If students try to learn by themselves, they will not have this opportunity.

[sarat_106]

Hi, everyone
Can you correct my Toefl essay? All comments are welcome.

Topic: Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer?
Some people prefer independent learning while others highlight/stress the importance of teachers. I belong to the latter group.

Many students complain that it is not an efficient way to study with a teacher, for the teacher always imparts (tell them) certain knowledge without teaching them how to think independently. However, there are some difficult exercises/subjects which students cannot understand without asking a teacher or it may take (them) plenty of time to catch the idea by thinking independently. Thus, learning alone by students may at times be tiring and wastage of lots of time and energy to work out an exercise or understand a subject.

Learning with a teacher, on the other hand, helps students grasp vital/critical concepts/ideas more quickly and easily. By giving their own knowledge and experience, teachers help their students identify common mistakes that should be (and) avoided (them). For example, my English teacher corrects my writing and advises me how to write better, which helps improve my writing skill.

In addition to this, teachers make learning more enjoyable and fun/interesting for their students. When learning with a teacher, I do not become as bored as getting information from books and am able to concentrate on the lessons. My teacher often holds some learning activities such as playing classroom games related to the subject or teaching us some English songs to make us enjoy our studies.

Therefore, it is always better to have a teacher (beside) to guide the students (them) and to help them in their development. If students try to learn by themselves, they will not have this opportunity.

Delete words in brackets. Use alternate words where ever suggested in red.