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  1. #1
    gauri_agr is offline Member
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    Default Please review it

    Hi All,

    I am from India and trying hard to improve my English. I want to improve speaking as well as written. So I found this forum. Here is what I wrote yesterday to get reviewed so that I can work on my mistakes


    ---------------

    Who hosted us better?

    Recently I was invited by two of my husband’s close friends “Mr. A” and “Mr. B” on one of the long weekend. Though at one place I was invited for the dinner and at another place I was invited at evening tea snacks. It was first time for me to visit their houses. (I am not disclosing their name)

    So first we went to Mr. A’s house for dinner. I was amazed to see such a sparkling house after entering their house. I was admiring Mr. A’a wife for keeping the house so span and spike. The very next moment I was bit nervous as I had two kids of age 5 and 1 ½ and I knew how these kids can make mess my house in an hour. Though they also had two kids of same age but still I was little worried. They hosted us very nicely. Soon after few minutes my daughter started eating salad and running all around into the house. While running she was spitting the pieces of the salad on the floor. Even when no one was watching her she spilled over all the water from container. But they did not feel bad and quickly cleaned the place. My kids kept making mess with toys and food. Mr. A and his wife were so nice that they keep cleaning and even we also join them to help cleaning. Its kept happening until we started to leave. We hardly get any time to talk to each other or play any game or doing something interesting together.

    I reached home and was depressed to see my house so dirty as compared to their house as they also have the kids like I. My kids were already retired to the bed so I plan to watch something on the TV. As soon a I picked up the remote I realized it is not shining as Mrs A’s remote, I immediately took the wet napkins from my daughter’s diaper bag and cleaned it. While sleeping I made a big plan what to clean to the next morning. In the morning on the dinning table we both were in full praise of Mr. A’a wife.

    I keep cleaning the whole house till evening next day and then we went to the Mr B’s house for the tea. Soon we entered their house it was just opposite to Mr. A’s house. For a moment I was little upset as I wanted to continue the friendship with them as they were very close to us and had the kids so my kids might get the company too.

    The dinning was full mess with so many snacks items. My daughter was so delightful to see such a house. She stared thinking what should I pick and play. I knew the house is already mess so I was least worried what extra my daughter will make mess this house. My daughter stated throwing the things as usual but Mr. B and his wife assured us not to worry as can clean it after we guys leave. We had so plenty of time as we were not behind the kids. Kids were playing and we were talking with least intervention of the kids. I was amazed to see that how relax I was at somebody else place. We went just for an hour but it was last in three hours as we were enjoying I talking with out worrying about the kids. Any way if they were not so concerned about the house then why were we. When I reached home, I was feeling my house so clean and neat as compared the house of Mr B.

    Since both the meeting happen at the same time I keep thinking who were the good host Mr A and Mrs A or Mr. B and Mrs B?

    -------------------------------

    Thanks a lot for your efforts in advance.

    Warm Regards,
    Gauri
    Last edited by gauri_agr; 20-Jan-2010 at 14:47. Reason: forgot the formating

  2. #2
    Gillnetter is offline Key Member
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    Teacher

    Default Re: Please review it

    Quote Originally Posted by gauri_agr View Post
    Hi All,

    I am from India and trying hard to improve my English. I want to improve speaking as well as written. So I found this forum. Here is what I wrote yesterday to get reviewed so that I can work on my mistakes


    ---------------

    Who hosted us better?

    Recently, I was invited by two of my husband’s closest friends “Mr. A” and “Mr. B” on one of the long weekends. Though At one place I was invited for the dinner and at another place I was invited at for evening tea snacks. It was first time for me to visit their houses {homes might be a better word here}. (I am not disclosing their name)

    {In the introduction you wrote that you were invited and in the second paragraph you wrote that "we" went to Mr. A's house. If two of you went, then you should write "we were invited" in the first paragraph}

    So First we went to Mr. A’s house for dinner. I was amazed to see such a sparkling house after entering their house. I was admiring Mr. A’s wife for keeping the house so span and spike. The very next moment I was bit nervous as I had two kids children of age 5 and 1 ½ and I knew how these kids children can make a mess of my house in an hour. Though they also had two kids children of the same age but still I was still a little worried. They hosted us very nicely. Soon After a few minutes my daughter started eating salad and running all around into the house. While running, she was spitting the pieces of the salad on the floor. Even when no one was watching her she spilled over all the water from a container all over. But they did not feel bad and quickly cleaned the place. My kids children kept making messes with toys and food. Mr. A and his wife were so nice, that they keep cleaning and even we also joined them to help cleaning. Its kept happening until we started to leave left. We hardly get had any time to talk to each other or play any games or doing something anything interesting together.

    I reached home and was depressed to see my house so dirty as compared to their house as they also have the kids children like as I do. My kids children were already retired to the in bed so I planned to on watching something on the TV. As soon a I picked up the remote I realized it is was not as shining shiny as Mrs A’s remote, . I immediately took the wet napkins from my daughter’s diaper bag and cleaned it. While sleeping in bed I made a big plans as to what to clean to the next morning. In the morning on the dinning dining table we both were in full praise of Mr. A’a wife.

    I keep cleaning the whole house till evening the next day and then we went to the Mr B’s house for the tea. As soon we entered their house I could see that it was just the opposite to of Mr. A’s house. For a moment I was little upset as I wanted to continue the our friendship with them as they were very close to us and had the kids children so my kids children might get the company too.

    The dinning dining room was full messy with so many snacks items. My daughter was so delightful delighted to see such a house. She stared started thinking what should I she pick up and play with. I knew the house is was already messy so I was least not worried what extra my daughter will make do to mess this house. My daughter stated throwing the things as usual but Mr. B and his wife assured us not to worry as can clean it after we guys leave left. We had so plenty of time as we were not behind the kids children. Kids The children were playing and we were talking with least intervention of from the kids them. I was amazed to see that how relaxed I was at somebody else's place. We went just for an hour but it was last in we stayed for three hours as we were enjoying ourselves. I was talking with out without worrying about the kids children. Any way Anyway, if they were not so concerned about the house then why were should we be concerned. When I reached home, I was feeling that my house was so clean and neat as compared to the house of Mr B {This could be written "as compared to Mr. B's house"}.

    Since both the meetings happened at the same time I keep thinking who were the good {It seems that both were good - do you mean best?}hosts, Mr A and Mrs A or Mr. B and Mrs B?

    -------------------------------

    Thanks a lot for your efforts in advance.

    Warm Regards,
    Gauri
    Here is some editing for your consideration. "Kids" is a common term for children, though kids are really the offspring of goats.

  3. #3
    gauri_agr is offline Member
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    Threadstarter / Original Poster

    Default Re: Please review it

    thanks a lot. I can't believe that some one can review my english so patiently. I got a hope to improve my written english. I will work on all the comments and will get back to you if have any questions.

  4. #4
    shalomabeth is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Please review it

    I thought we cannot post assignments in here for review or can we?

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