correction of editorial

[khansir]

Sir
I would be highly thankful to you if you edit/beautify the following EDITORIAL of a school magazine.
I look forward to receiving a favourable response.


HELLO READERS
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money, says Jules Renard. Inculcation of creative thinking and writing amongst the students is one of the objectives set by JVM and Ganga plays the role of providing an important platform for JVMites to present their original works. When the magazine is finally in your hand, I can perceive your curiosity coupled with your impatience to see your articles, cartoons, stories, poems come alive in the face of their listeners and readers. I have a vicarious feeling of your happiness. One can imagine the happiness of an upcoming writer when he sees his work in printed form in a magazine and it is this feeling of confidence that ignites his writing skill, that gives him impetus for the development of his creativity into his thought process. For many it represents the first and perhaps the first opportunity to be celebrated. For some it is a stepping stone to further literary endeavour. Our belief remains the same: that young people can create works of astonishing power. It is axiomatic that all children are creative and everything they make is creative. After all, if children aren’t creative, then who is? And so it follows that an adult’s role is to stand back and let the child’s creativity unfold. Published student authors and artists inspire others to write and draw in a far more powerful and telling way than teachers can.
As we leaf through the pages of the school magazine, our memories are revived by the kaleidoscopic presentation of the accolades bestowed on our sportsmen, the honours conferred on our students at the stage and the sight of many much-deserved feathers being added to their caps. Undoubtedly, the articles of students are very simple and don’t contain flowery English, but simplicity compounded with lucidity mirrors their originality. Keeping this thing in mind, the editorial board was restrained from making more than minor modifications and changes in their articles.
I take this opportunity to give a simple piece of advice to my blooming writers. Teachers of English are alarmed at the sms culture which has crept maliciously in the writings of the youngsters. The truncated words which are becoming more prevalent among youngsters, if left unchecked, will not only spoil the linguistic ability of the students but also result in their low scoring of marks. I urge my students to desist from writing shortened forms of the words which have simply butchered our English language. I hope they will heed to my advice!
For the successful publication of a school magazine, a lot of planning compounded with team work is needed and I was lucky to have a team of dedicated teachers and students, who played a proactive role in galvanizing the students into penning their ideas onto paper and also in the compilation of this magazine. I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to our Principal, Shri Tapash Das Gupta, who from time to time awakened me when I had gone almost in the dormancy state. I am thankful to all the blooming writers who have responded to my call and penned their ideas for the magazine. May I also acknowledge my helpful student editors Master Sunil Yadav and Miss Swapnil Singh who have proved as catalysts in mobilising the students to write their views. I am thankful to the Art and Craft Teacher Shri Sanjay Kumar Singh who took great pains in designing the pages and giving an aesthetic touch to the magazine. Last but not the least, I owe a deep sense of gratitude to Mr Vikas Varun (PGT, Hindi), Ms Deepti Mishra(TGT, English), Miss Taru Garg(PRT, English) and all the teachers, who, in spite of their hectic schedule volunteered to assist me and charge me with renewed vigour when I was almost daunted.
Finally from the entire team of Ganga I wish all the readers a happy reading.

Amir H Khan

[Gillnetter]

Sir
I would be highly thankful to you if you edit/beautify the following EDITORIAL of a school magazine.
I look forward to receiving a favourable response.


HELLO READERS,
"Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money", says said Jules Renard {Many people have no idea who Jules Renard is. If you are going to quote him, you should add something like this - Jules Renard, famous writer or Jules Renard, world explorer}. Inculcation of creative thinking and writing amongst the students is one of the objectives set by JVM and Ganga plays the role of providing an important platform for JVMites to present their original works. When the magazine is finally in your hand, I can perceive your curiosity coupled with your impatience to see your articles, cartoons, stories, and poems come alive in the face of their listeners and to the readers. I have a vicarious feeling of your happiness. One can imagine the happiness of an upcoming up-and-coming writer when he sees his work in printed form in a magazine and it is this feeling of confidence that ignites his writing skill, that gives him impetus for the development of his creativity into his thought process. For many, it represents the first and perhaps the first an opportunity to be celebrated. For some, it is a stepping stone to further literary endeavour. Our belief remains the same: ; that young people can create works of astonishing power. It is axiomatic that all {Reallly, all?} children are creative and everything they make is creative {I doubt that this is true - somethings, maybe - but not all}. After all, if children aren’t creative, then who is {Adults?}? And so, it follows, that an adult’s role is to stand back and let the child’s creativity unfold. Published student authors and artists can inspire others other youngsters to write and draw, and their influence in a far is more powerful and telling way than the influence of teachers can.
As we leaf through the pages of the school magazine, our memories are revived by the kaleidoscopic presentation of the accolades bestowed on our sportsmen, the honours conferred on our students at on the stage and the sight of many, much-deserved feathers being added to their caps. Undoubtedly, the articles {This applies to the written articles but what about the cartoons, stories and poems?} of students are very simple {If these people are always creative why do they write simple things? Do you really mean that they are written in a simple form?} and don’t contain flowery English, but simplicity compounded with lucidity mirrors their originality. Keeping this thing in mind, the editorial board was is restrained from making more than minor modifications and changes in their {"their" refers back to the editorial board, not to student writers} articles.
I take this opportunity to give a simple piece of advice to my blooming writers. Teachers of English are alarmed at the sms {What does sms mean?} culture which has crept maliciously in the writings of the youngsters. The truncated words which are becoming more prevalent among youngsters, if left unchecked, will not only spoil the linguistic ability of the students but also result in their low scoring of receiving low marks. I urge my students to desist from writing shortened forms of the words which have simply butchered our English language. I hope they will heed to my advice!
{I suggest that the preceding be changed to -
The truncating of words, called the sms culture, which is becoming more prevalent among youngsters, if left unchecked, will not only spoil the linguistic ability of the srudents but will also result in them receiving low marks. I urge students to desist from writing shortened forms of words; forms which have simply butchered our English language. Teachers of English are alarmed at the sms culture which has crept maliciously in the writings of the youngsters. I hope they will heed my advice!}

For the successful publication of a school magazine, a lot of planning, compounded with team work is needed. and I was lucky to have a team of dedicated teachers and students, who played a proactive role in galvanizing the students into penning their ideas onto paper and also in the compilation of this magazine. I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to our Principal, Shri Tapash Das Gupta, who from time to time time-to-time awakened me when I had gone almost almost gone into the dormancy state. I am thankful to all the blooming writers who have responded to my call and penned their ideas for the magazine. May I also acknowledge my helpful student editors, Master Sunil Yadav and Miss Swapnil Singh who have proved as to be catalysts in mobilising the students to write their views. I am also thankful to the Arts and Craft Teacher, Shri Sanjay Kumar Singh who took great pains in designing the pages and giving an aesthetic touch to the magazine. Last but not the least, I owe a deep sense debt of gratitude to Mr Vikas Varun (PGT, Hindi), Ms Deepti Mishra(TGT, English), Miss Taru Garg(PRT, English) and all the teachers, who, in spite of their hectic schedules volunteered to assist me and who charged me with renewed vigour when I was almost daunted.
Finally, from the entire team of Ganga I wish all the readers a happy reading.

Amir H Khan

Here are a few changes that may make the writing clearer. Good luck with your publication.