[Essay] IELTS essay help. Pls. check, comment, or suggest on my grammar, vocabulary, or anyth

[paul p]

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist
knowledge of the following topic.

Television has brought great changes to the way many children spend leisure
time. While some of these changes have been beneficial, others have had a harmful effect.

To what extent do you disagree or disagree?

(Use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with
examples and relevant evidence.)

One of the innovations of the 19th century was the making of television.
Indeed it made the world smaller. It is one of the medium in communication
for news, and entertainment. Throughout the years the television had many
improvements in presentation like that of black and white television to
colored television.

Children nowadays spend much in watching television due mainly to the
countless cartoon networks such as Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon to
name some which majority of the children are into. But what do children
get from watching television? On the positive side, children develop their
skills in language, they learn much vocabularies in which many also put
into practice when they talk to someone especially to their families and
friends. To add, children also learn many things about the world. They
learn so many things about animals, plants, places, sports, even about
the moon and the countless stars in the night sky which children are so
fascinated with.

But despite the advantages children get from television, there are dangers
still. Many children of today watch television almost the whole day, some
do escape from classes just not to miss an episode of their favorite channel,
others become disobeying to their parents, they don't like to help washing the
ishes and other household chores because they are so focused on what they
are watching. It is also shocking sometimes that children learn to utter obscene,
harsh, or in a simpler term bad words. Parents do wonder how some children come
to learn such unacceptable words for their young age. It is a big concern to
parents because what children learn at young age could be carried out when
they become adults and that is what parents are trying to avoid.

So what must parents do to control and guide the children when watching
television? These are some suggestions that may help when children are
watching television: stay with them, tell them what to watch and what
not to watch and explain why ( a very simple reason is that some channels
are not appropriate for a child's age), block the channel by setting the control
settings of a television which is now a feature of many televisions of today,
doing so, the children will not be able to access or view the channel since
it was set blocked. Although I admit that these may not still be 100% effective,
but taking action shows being a responsible parent than not doing at all.

[1984law]

Originally Posted by paul p

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist
knowledge of the following topic.

Television has brought great changes to the way many children spend leisure
time. While some of these changes have been beneficial, others have had a harmful effect.

To what extent do you disagree or disagree?

(Use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with
examples and relevant evidence.)

One of the innovations of the 19th century was the invention of television.
Indeed it made the world smaller. It is a communication medium that provides both information such as the news and entertainment. Throughout the years television got improved, it was originally black and white whereas now it is colored

Children nowadays spend much time watching television which is mainly due to the
countless cartoon networks such as Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon, just to
name some the majority of children are into. But what do children
get from watching television? On the positive side, children develop their
skills in language, they learn vocabulary which many of them also put
into practice when they talk to someone especially to their families and
friends. In addition, children also learn many things about the world. They
learn so many things about animals, plants, places, sports, even about
the moon and the countless stars in the night sky which children are so
fascinated with.

But despite the advantages children get from television, there are disadvantages too.
still. Many children nowadays watch television almost the whole day long, some of them miss their classes because they don' want to miss an episode of their favorite channel,
others become disobedient to their parents, they don't like to help washing the
dishes and other household chores because they are so focused on what they
are watching. It is also shocking sometimes that children learn to utter obscene,
harsh, or in a simpler term bad words. Parents do wonder how fast some children come
to learn such unacceptable words for their young age.( It is a big concern to
parents because what children learn at young age could be carried out when
they become adults and that is what parents are trying to avoid.)
I understand the menaing but you need to rephrase it!
So what must parents do to control and guide the children when watching
television? These are some suggestions that may help when children are
watching television: stay with them, tell them what to watch and what
not to watch and explain why ( a very simple reason is that some channels
are not appropriate for young children), block the channel by setting the control
settings of a television which is now a feature of many televisions of today,
doing so, the children will not be able to access or view the channel since
it was set blocked. Although I admit that these may not still be 100% effective,
but taking action is better than doing nothing at all.

Hope I have been helpful. Good luck!

[dlrozel]

can you help me too,my english is awful and i wrote an essay in 25 minutes so it has many mitakes .
essay is about facebook's advantages and disadvantages.

Facebook which is the most popular web site is logined every single day by million people who have different interests.They can play games,share their photos,communicate with their old friends and so on. Facebook which is miracle of inventions has both advantages and disadvantages.

fistly,it has many advantages.It is possible to search for new and old friends on facebook.thus,people can talk and keep in touch with their old friedns.also,when they search their new friedns on it,they can learn so many thing about them.they can get closer.On facebook,it is easy to find help,too.students who are taking same class can find each other.they can talk about their homeworks,exams and so on.they can share their knowledge and help one another..also,it is easier to join groups with smilar likes and dislikes,so people can find someone who has same interests with them.they casn talk and discuss in these subjects and learn many different things from others.also.it is useful for their general knowledge.

on the other hand, it is possible to get addicted.some people login on facebook every second.they want to know what other people are doing and sharing every time,they spend their all time on facebook.moreover,their personal information seen by everybody.of course,they may not share their important informations but there is some questions for join it.so you need to share some personal informations with facebook.it can be dangerous when some people steal and use these informations.
to sum up, facebook has many plusses and minus.people need to think and be careful when they share something or join facebook.if they do taht,thay can enjoy and use its facilities.

[Gillnetter]

Originally Posted by dlrozel

can you help me too,my english is awful and i wrote an essay in 25 minutes so it has many mitakes .
essay is about facebook's advantages and disadvantages.

Facebook which is the most popular web site is logined every single day by million people who have different interests.They can play games,share their photos,communicate with their old friends and so on. Facebook which is miracle of inventions has both advantages and disadvantages.

fistly,it has many advantages.It is possible to search for new and old friends on facebook.thus,people can talk and keep in touch with their old friedns.also,when they search their new friedns on it,they can learn so many thing about them.they can get closer.On facebook,it is easy to find help,too.students who are taking same class can find each other.they can talk about their homeworks,exams and so on.they can share their knowledge and help one another..also,it is easier to join groups with smilar likes and dislikes,so people can find someone who has same interests with them.they casn talk and discuss in these subjects and learn many different things from others.also.it is useful for their general knowledge.

on the other hand, it is possible to get addicted.some people login on facebook every second.they want to know what other people are doing and sharing every time,they spend their all time on facebook.moreover,their personal information seen by everybody.of course,they may not share their important informations but there is some questions for join it.so you need to share some personal informations with facebook.it can be dangerous when some people steal and use these informations.
to sum up, facebook has many plusses and minus.people need to think and be careful when they share something or join facebook.if they do taht,thay can enjoy and use its facilities.

I suggest that you rewrite this essay. Everytime you enter a period, enter a space. Everytime you enter a comma, enter a space. Everytime you start a new sentence, capitalize the first word. Facebook is the name of a company - the first letter of Facebook is always capitalized. Read the essay to yourself - check the spelling of each word. When you done, repost the essay for comments.

[Gillnetter]

Here are a few thoughts to help you in your writing. Writing is nothing more than recorded speech - on paper, in a computer's memory, etc. When you write, your writing should resemble your speech. Do you really talk this way?

"On the positive side, children develop their
skills in language, they learn much vocabularies in which many also put
into practice when they talk to someone especially to their families and
friends."

I see at least four sentences here - not one. Try this - read the sentence above and note where you would normally stop and start a new sentence. Now, write it the way you spoke it.

I would write it this way -

On the positive side, children develop their skills in language. They learn many new words. They can use these words when they talk to someone. They can use these new words when they talk to their families and friends.

[lecturer01]

The best way to practice and learn English is to read and use a dictionary. Record words you dont understand in a list along with their meaning.

As a Chinese man who moved to England not to long ago, this is how i improved my english. Reading academic journals is the best way to strengthen your english.

In respect to IELTS, practice makes perfect. If you really do find yourself struggling, approach your tutor or even your peers.

good luck with your studies!

[lecturer01]

The best way to practice and learn English is to read and use a dictionary. Record words you dont understand in a list along with their meaning.

As a Chinese man who moved to England not to long ago, this is how i improved my english. Reading academic journals is the best way to strengthen your english.

In respect to IELTS, practice makes perfect. If you really do find yourself struggling, approach your tutor or even your peers.

as a last resort check out my website for help with written english:

www.proofreadinginternational.com

good luck with your studies!