[Essay] 2IELTS essay help. Pls. check, comment on my grammar, vocabulary, or any. TY!

[paul p]

The number of children who are overweight is increasing and many believe that children are
not as physically fit as they used to be. What are some of the reasons for this change?
What can be done to reverse the trend?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or
experience.

In today's time, many children are seen to be over their normal body weight compared
before where children were viewed to be fit physically.

There are common reasons for this problem of children exceeding their maximum recommended
weight. Consumption of non-nutritious foods such as junk foods have increased over the
years. Many children resist eating vegetables and fruits when served by their parents on
the table when the family partake of their delicious meal. Moreover, influence of
friends and peer pressure is a contributing factor of a child's view and choice
of food especially at snacks. Some children may envy their peers eating
chocolate and drinking soda while what is in their hand is an apple and a
bottle of a crystal clear mineral water. To add, the widespread enticing advertisements
of numerous fast food chains and drink companies to name a few popular such as McDonalds,
Coca-cola, KFC, and much more in their locality also adds to the problem.

Indeed what the children want is play, fun, and most especially what to satisfy their tummies
and tastebuds.What parents need to do is to control their child's consumption of non-nutritious
foods but never take this out totally because the more that they will crave for it.
Parents should take them at restaurants once in awhile and not everytime. Giving
incentives for eating a good meal may help. Lastly, encouraging
them to engage in sport activities will greatly control their weight, after all they will burn
it anyway. These are good things to train a child to become healthy and strong.

[Gillnetter]

Originally Posted by paul p

The number of children who are overweight is increasing and many believe that children are
not as physically fit as they used to be. What are some of the reasons for this change?
What can be done to reverse the trend?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or
experience.

In today's time, Today many children are seen to be over their normal body weight compared to the past when
before where children were viewed to be fit physically physically fit.

There are common reasons for this the problem of children exceeding their maximum recommended weight. Consumption of non-nutritious foods such as junk foods food have increased over the years. Many children resist eating vegetables and fruits. when served by their parents on the table when the family partake of their delicious meal. Moreover, the influence of
friends and peer pressure is a contributing factor of a child's view and choice of food especially at concerning snacks. Some children may envy their peers eating chocolate and drinking soda while what is in their hand is an apple and a bottle of a crystal clear mineral water. To add Additionally, the widespread, enticing advertisements of numerous fast food chains and drink companies to name a few popular such as McDonalds, Coca-cCola, KFC, and much many more in their locality also adds to the problem.

Indeed what the children want is play, fun, and most especially what they want to satisfy their tummies stomachs and tastebuds. What parents need to do is to control their child's consumption of non-nutritious foods but never take this out not deny them totally because, the more that then they will crave for it more.
Parents should take them at to restaurants once in awhile. and not everytime. Giving incentives for eating a good meal may help. Lastly, encouraging them to engage in sport activities will greatly control their weight.
, after all they will burn
it anyway.
These are good things to train a child to become healthy and strong.

Here is a bit of editing for your consideration.