Medical article

[Graver]

Hi all!
I have a really big request for you guys!
I've recently been struggling with a medical article that I decided to translate for my friend and I'm not sure if I did it well or not. I'd really appreciate it if you could just spare a moment and take a look at it. please let me know if you see any mistakes! The sentences that sound a little odd and suspicious to me have been underlined.

THANK YOU!

here's the article:

The following article presents a summary of the activity of the newly-established center/centre for implanting cardiac pacemakers in the Ludwik Błażek Regional Hospital in Inowrocław. 133 patients with a medical pacemaker were observed within the period of time from April 2008 to April 2009.
The main aim of the observation was to describe the rules governing the process of establishing the centre/center based on the knowledge of the supervising doctor, the so-called “master”, who possesses the necessary experience in training medical teams, implanting various types of electrodes, programming artificial pacemakers as well as the usual follow-up treatment procedure among patients with a cardiac pacemaker.
Not only do we present the rules concerning the procedures which take place in the operating room, but also the benefits derived from the presence of an experienced cardio surgeon at each implantation and pacemaker replacement surgery and thus minimizing the complications resulting from the so-called “medical team training curve”. Special significance has been attached to the process of learning different implantation techniques and solving various problems during each surgery, which may considerably shorten the amount of time for the surgical procedure as well as decrease/reduce the number of complications.

[Graver]

Hi all!
I have a really big request for you guys!
I've recently been struggling with a medical article that I decided to translate for my friend and I'm not sure if I did it well or not. I'd really appreciate it if you could just spare a moment and take a look at it. please let me know if you see any mistakes! The sentences that sound a little odd and suspicious to me have been underlined.

THANK YOU!

here's the article:

The following article presents a summary of the activity of the newly-established center/centre for implanting cardiac pacemakers in the Ludwik Błażek Regional Hospital in Inowrocław. 133 patients with a medical pacemaker were observed within the period of time from April 2008 to April 2009.
The main aim of the observation was to describe the rules governing the process of establishing the centre/center based on the knowledge of the supervising doctor, the so-called “master”, who possesses the necessary experience in training medical teams, implanting various types of electrodes, programming artificial pacemakers as well as the usual follow-up treatment procedure among patients with a cardiac pacemaker.
Not only do we present the rules concerning the procedures which take place in the operating room, but also the benefits derived from the presence of an experienced cardio surgeon at each implantation and pacemaker replacement surgery and thus minimizing the complications resulting from the so-called “medical team training curve”. Special significance has been attached to the process of learning different implantation techniques and solving various problems during each surgery, which may considerably shorten the amount of time for the surgical procedure as well as decrease/reduce the number of complications.

Is there anyone who can help me here???

[Anglika]

Patience! Someone is sure to comment sooner or later.

[Graver]

Patience! Someone is sure to comment sooner or later.

I'm sorry I'm such an impatient intelligent animal...

[RonBee]

The following article presents a summary of the activity of the newly-established center/centre for implanting cardiac pacemakers in the Ludwik Błażek Regional Hospital in Inowrocław. 133 patients with a medical pacemaker were observed within the period of time from April 2008 to April 2009.

Use center for AmE, centre for BrE. In the second sentence, delete within the period of time.

(I'll make more comments later if time permits.)

[Gillnetter]

Hi all!
I have a really big request for you guys!
I've recently been struggling with a medical article that I decided to translate for my friend and I'm not sure if I did it well or not. I'd really appreciate it if you could just spare a moment and take a look at it. please let me know if you see any mistakes! The sentences that sound a little odd and suspicious to me have been underlined.

THANK YOU!

here's the article:

The following article presents a summary of the activity of the newly established center/centre for implanting cardiac pacemakers in at the Ludwik Błażek Regional Hospital in Inowrocław. 133 One hundred and thirty three patients with a medical pacemaker were observed within the period of time from April, 2008 to April, 2009.
The main aim of the observation was to describe the rules governing the process of establishing the centre/center, based on the knowledge of the supervising doctor, the so-called “master”, who possesses: the necessary experience in training medical teams, the implanting of various types of electrodes, the programming of artificial pacemakers, as well as the usual follow-up treatment procedures among for patients with a cardiac {Is there any other type of pacemaker?} pacemaker.
Not only do we present the rules concerning the procedures which take place in the operating room, but also the {need something here - speak to , discuss, talk of, etc.} benefits derived from the presence of an experienced cardio surgeon at each implantation and pacemaker replacement surgery and ,thus minimizing the complications resulting from the so-called “medical team training curve”. Special significance has been attached to the process of learning different implantation techniques and solving various problems during each surgery,; which may considerably shorten the amount of time for the surgical procedure as well as decrease/reduce the number of complications.

Here is some editing for your consideration.

[Graver]

Thank you ever so much!
But on the whole what do you think? save for the mistakes that I've made was it a successful translation? Does it sound good to your "native ears" ?
Thanks for ANY comments:)

[RonBee]

Say:
.

One hundred and thirty-three patients with pacemakers.

Post the revised article here. (Be sure to space between paragraphs.)

[Raymott]

Thank you ever so much!
But on the whole what do you think? save for the mistakes that I've made was it a successful translation? Does it sound good to your "native ears" ?
Thanks for ANY comments:)

Also 'cardiac surgeon', not 'cardio surgeon'.
After you've identified that it's a centre for changing or inserting cardiac pacemakers, no further adjective for 'pacemaker' is needed unless you get into permament v. on-demand pacing, etc. We know what it is.
It's fairly obviously witten by a NNS, but it's quite understandable and requires no further amendments.

[Graver]

seems like I'm no good as a translator... :/ but thanks anyway...