[Essay] IELTS ESSAY HELP: Pre-schools and Kindergarten

[paul p]

Hello! Please comment, suggest revisions, or even score. Thank you so much!

IELTS

Some people believe that pre-schools and kindergartens should
start teaching children basic subjects such as maths, writing
even computers. Others think that these schools should mainly
focus on activities such as games, painting, music, and play.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every student has his likes and dislikes in terms of subjects
taught in school. Some excel in one area while others excel
on a different field of learning. There are people believing
that fundamental subjects like maths, writing, and computers
should be the focus of teaching, while others feel that there
is a need to concentrate more on games, painting, music, and
play for pre-schools and kindergartens.

If we try to observe the youngsters, they love subjects
involving play than those needing of critical thinking.
Children easily get bored of doing activities requiring them
to sit for long minutes or even hours. They like being active
most of the time.

With regards to the issue of areas of focus in teaching,
there should be balance. At the early age of a child,
introduction of many activities of learning is a good way to
know what interests him/her. Moreover, we discover his/her
strenghts and weaknesses. This way teachers can help young
students to develop and excel on areas of better performance
and to work more on areas needing improvement.

When we look of some successful people like the late Michael
Jackson and Steven Spielberg, both on entertainment
industries, they started developing their skills and talents
at a very young age and later in life became the best figures
of what they do. One contributing factor is they enjoy their
actions. Same way to train a child and to bring out his best
and not forcing him to take something, but out of his heart
in reality.

250+ Words

[Raymott]

So is that a "Yes, teachers should start teaching children basic subjects such as maths, writing even computers", or "No, they should mainly focus on activities such as games, painting, music, and play"?