please can you assess my IELTS essay and give me the score
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providinfg such things as food and education? or is it the responsibilitiy of the governments of poorer nations to took after their citizens themselves?
There is no doudt that nowadays there are many countries considered to be poor for instance ,somalia .while others very rich like USA.
Actually there are different outlooks between poeple niether they agree with that sharing of their wealth or not,peolple who agree say that is humanitarian work and we must offer to help these countries and reduce their sufering in all aspects and we should provide them scholarship program for their students with reasonable prices proper with their income and build schools to develop their culture and open their minds by increasing work opportunities which in the same time result in decrease ignorance that unltimately create literates people and well educated generations
In my point of view i think it is too painful if these nations do not stand with poor countries at all even in case of temporary crises like finantail crise or some terms when they need help in some hard situations
On other hand some people believe it is responsibility of govenments the reason of in the end these nations have limited budget and they can not spend their money they work efficiently to combine , they say we can not cover their educational expenses so what abouts others parts
To sum up in my opinion i think that it is great and heplful to assist poeple who need you, i convined that one day you may need them ,so what you offer and serve today,you will see in future.
Re: please can you assess my IELTS essay and give me the score
I think that you're approaching this from the wrong perspective- it's not a discussion topic but it asks you for your opinion, so there's no need to try to put a balanced case. You should answer the questions more clearly- they are yes/no questions as starting points, but after reading it, I couldn't state clearly what you think- it asks if rich countries should be required to do this, not whether it's a good thing to give.
In terms of IELTS, I honestly think that you're not really ready for an exam like this yet and should concentrate on some simpler writing tasks first to develop the skills required more before trying tasks like this.
Firstly, work on individual sentences and tidy them up- there are spelling mistakes, missing words, missing capital letters, etc, in the first sentence for example. Then look at what it actuallly adds to the essay- it tells us that there arre rich and poor countries, which is a piece of knowledge that is already assumed to be known in the question. I would start by writing individual sentences, then buillding up to paragraphs before taking on an advanced exam like IELTS. The second paragraph is several sentences connected into one chunk with and/and/and. I would put IELTS aside and concentrate on sorting out the basics first.