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  1. #1
    pest2046 is offline Newbie
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    Smile Please check my IELTS essay !THANKS!

    Topic: Some people think cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used to attract tourists. Others believe that is the only way for cultural traditions to remain in the world. What is your opinion?

    Currently, a growing number of countries pay much attention on expanding the economy by developing the tourism. Some people believe that it is the only way to preserve their cultural traditions while others are convinced that local traditions will be destroyed and changed.

    It is evidently reasonable for some local residents to worry about the future of their cultural traditions. It is manifest that a large number of people just take their cultural heritage as cash cow rather than priceless treasure. What they really care about is how to attract more tourists, from which to get more profit. Also, vast touring populations between regions may severely threaten ecological balance and biodiversity. No only will they deplete a great deal of natural resources, they also make much garbage. Even the fossil fuel consumed in transportation can pollute the air of the tourist destinations.

    Some people maintain that, however, developing tourism is the only way for cultural traditions to remain. No one can deny that cultural traditions indeed benifit from tourism to some extend.Firstly, tourists from all over the world contribute much to the local economy;therefore, local governments would have sufficient money to invest in protecting their local traditions as well as interest places. Furthermore, the profit bought by travellers may help local residents increase the awareness of preserving cultural identity.

    Personally,I have some reservations on the both views.We have to acknowledge that cultural traditions could get some benifits by attracting tourists, but it is not the only way to achieve.Developing tourism while avoid losing of original features is the challege we face.
    Last edited by pest2046; 05-Feb-2010 at 06:35.

  2. #2
    Gillnetter is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please check my IELTS essay !THANKS!

    Quote Originally Posted by pest2046 View Post
    Topic: Some people think cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used to attract tourists. Others believe that is the only way for cultural traditions to remain in the world. What is your opinion?

    Currently, a growing number of countries pay much attention on are considering expanding the their economy by developing the tourism. Some people believe that it is the only way to preserve their cultural traditions while others are convinced that local traditions will be destroyed and changed.

    It is evidently reasonable for some local residents to worry about the future of their cultural traditions. It is manifest that a large number of people just take their cultural heritage as cash cow {cash cow doesn't fit in here. how about "a source of revenue?} rather than a priceless treasure. What they really care about is how to attract more tourists, from which to get more profit. Also, vast touring populations between regions may severely threaten both ecological balance and biodiversity. Not only will they deplete a great deal of natural resources, they also will make much garbage. Even the fossil fuel consumed in transportation can pollute the air of the tourist destinations.

    Some people maintain that, however, developing tourism is the only way for cultural traditions to remain. No one can deny that cultural traditions would indeed benifit benefit from tourism to some extend. Firstly, tourists from all over the world contribute much to the local economy; therefore, local governments would have sufficient money to invest in protecting their local traditions as well as interest places. Furthermore, the profit bought by travellers may help local residents increase the their awareness of preserving cultural identity. {What is the relationship between making a profit and an awareness of ones' cultural identity?}

    Personally, I have some reservations on the both views. We have to acknowledge that cultural traditions could get some benifits benefit by attracting tourists, but it is not the only way to achieve benefits. Developing tourism while avoiding losing the loss of original features is the challege challenge we face.
    Here is some editing for you to look over. The instructions for this paper asked for your opinion. You never really gave an opinion - you restated the question in a couple of ways. If you need help concerning how to write an essay, let us know.

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