Need essay help just quick fixs etc... Thanks!

[nhaight]

Currently writing a huge paper for british lit i started this so you guys could help me with some quick fixes etc if you please. (if this thread is in the wrong area any admin feel free to move it! thanks!) this will mostly be Punctation. Paper is going off of MLA newest guidelines (2010)
Feel free to post format questions ETC... Thanks for any and all help!


#1 Correct Punctation?
This is exactly what dreams, nightmares, and visions, allow one to do when being used as a literary tool.

[Tdol]

No comma after visions.

[nhaight]

(Just any proofreading or revision would be great!)

#2 The “dream state” as characterized by Freud is a unique mental state that is hardly used during our waking hours, but in our sleep it begins to work. It is believed to work by creating in our minds an object of fulfillment, so that it may resolve tension, due to lack of fulfillment. This process in itself reveals one’s deepest desires that even they might not acknowledge. It is also generally based on emotions, and dispositions. This can leave ones dreams to be wild and unpredictable. Unable to be controlled by the conscience, what one dreams is a reflection of their
true character. How one might ask? It’s simple, during the waking hours your conscience is hard at working monitoring every thought, action, and decision etc. during this time it is filtering out choices based on morals, ethics, self-image, and so on. But when in the “dream state” one’s subconscious takes over. This part of the mind allows for a much more primitive and unchecked thought process. The key here is that one’s thoughts are completely unchecked. This is revealing to the true nature of that being. Sometimes authors use this as a literary tool, which allows them to give the reader a clearer image of the main character.

[kfredson]

Originally Posted by nhaight

(Just any proofreading or revision would be great!)

#2 The “dream state” as characterized by Freud is a unique mental state that is hardly used during our waking hours, but in our sleep it begins to work. It is believed to work by creating in our minds an object of fulfillment, so that it may resolve tension, due to lack of fulfillment. This process in itself reveals one’s deepest desires that even they [You have an agreement problem here. One's... requires a singular pronoun and not "they"] might not acknowledge. It is also generally based on emotions, and dispositions. This can leave ones one's dreams to be wild and unpredictable. Unable to be controlled by the conscience, what one dreams is a reflection of their [Again, one... requires a singular pronoun.]
true character. How [you need a comma here] one might ask? It’s simple, [technically you should have a semi-colon here, since you are putting together two independent clauses] during the waking hours your conscience is hard at working monitoring every thought, action, and decision etc. [Is this a new sentence?] during this time it is filtering out choices based on morals, ethics, self-image, and so on. But when in the “dream state” [I would put a comma before when and after state. It may not be essential but it makes the meaning clearer] one’s subconscious takes over. This part of the mind allows for a much more primitive and unchecked thought process. The key here is that one’s thoughts are completely unchecked. This is revealing to the true nature of that being. Sometimes authors use this as a literary tool, which allows them to give the reader a clearer image of the main character.

I'm not sure I understand the content well enough to make revisions, but I have made some suggestions for improving the grammar.

The agreement issue has become a major problem in English, since we have no gender-neutral term to accompany "one" other than "one" again. Traditionally we used "he" or "his," but we now try to get away from the masculine bias. As a result, we may say he/she or his/her or simply alternate his in one sentence and her in the next. Neither approach is very satisfactory, in my mind, but modern English has not yet discovered a good solution.

Often people will avoid the problem by using the plural form, that is, "people's" rather than "one's," followed by their. But this isn't always satisfactory, either.

[nhaight]

Thanks! sorry about the whole "one" "ones" etc, sitaution i have this crazy teacher who automatically fails us if we speek in first or second person (and some forms of third person!?) She always tells me to say things like "If one was to lose a loved, that person may..." or "One might ask why it is that..." You get the idea! but it gets pretty hard to type 10 page papers in a week with all these rules, guidelines, or whatever you may call them!