[Grammar] Please correct my grammar

[Alextee]

Hello! Can someone please correct my grammar? Please let me know the mistakes I made. Thank you.



My mother had to assume the position of both parents. She had to transition from a stay at home wife into the role of my father. It was very difficult for her to make the changeover, because of the high demanding and fast pace society. She didn’t have anyone to assist her, my mother was left alone to handle a difficult role. Throughout all her life she stayed home, having no education in America, and didn’t speak english very well. My mother had to go out and look for job, learn enough english to communicate, and care for her children. Ultimately, she found a minimum wage job at the Internal Revenue Service. She worked hard and thrived absorbing up all she could learn. With continued dedication and hard work, she moved up into a well paid position at the I.R.S. She bought her first house 4 years after my father’s death. My brother graduated Fresno State University shortly after, and my younger sister eventually graduated at the top of her class and was accepted at U.C Davis. My mother continues to amaze me with her achievements, and put a smile on my face. Through her kids accomplishments, she has done a very good job in transitioning into a once thought impossible role.

[Gillnetter]

Originally Posted by Alextee

Hello! Can someone please correct my grammar? Please let me know the mistakes I made. Thank you.



My mother had to assume the position of both parents. She had to transition from a stay at home wife into the role of my father (She didn't change her role as a mother, she added the role of being a father. How about - into the role of being both mother and father?). It was very difficult for her to make the changeover, because of the highly demanding and fast paced society. She didn’t have anyone to assist her, my mother was left alone to handle a difficult role. Throughout all her life she had stayed home, having no education in America, and didn’t speak English very well. My mother had to go out and look for job, learn enough English to communicate, and care for her children (To care for her children could have two meanings - one is to provide food and shelter, the other is to be there when needed. If you are trying to say that she needed to make money, then write - and provide for her children). Ultimately, she found a minimum wage job at the Internal Revenue Service (Put I.R.S. here). She worked hard and thrived, absorbing up all she could learn. With continued dedication and hard work, she moved up into a well paid position at the I.R.S. She bought her first house 4 four years after my father’s death. My brother graduated from Fresno State University shortly thereafter, and my younger sister eventually graduated at the top of her high school class and was accepted at U.C Davis. My mother continues to amaze me with her achievements, and puts a smile on my face. Through her kids children's accomplishments, she has done a very good job in transitioning into a once thought impossible role. (You have two thoughts in the last sentence. Her transitioning was not dependent on the accomplishments of her children. Either delete the first part or make this into two sentences.)

Nicely written. With a little more work this will be a very good piece of writing.

[Alextee]

Thank you. It's just part of my essay. How can I improve my writing?

[Gillnetter]

Originally Posted by Alextee

Thank you. It's just part of my essay. How can I improve my writing?

Your writing is at an advanced level. At this level you no longer are afforded the luxury of making basic mistakes. I would suggest that you learn different techniques for editing your work. When you have written something, walk away from it. Come back later and read what you have written. Learn to be critical of your writing – delete anything that doesn’t make sense. If, for example, you have one sentence with two thoughts in it – write two sentences. Sometimes you will know exactly what you mean – but it will not be so clear to your reader. If it is an important piece of writing, have a friend read it. Ask your friend to explain to you what was written. The true essence of good writing is editing – write, edit, write, edit, etc.