One paragraph of a geography essay -Please read and tell me what you think-

[AryanK]

Hey everyone

I'm writing a 800 words essay on Baltic Sea Region Farming, and I've finished the second paragraph, which is the first body paragraph. Can you please read it and tell me what you think? Suggestions and error reports are welcome! :)

The Baltic Sea drainage basin is four times the surface area of the sea itself, and half of it is forested. Finland and Sweden have most of the forests, especially in the northern and northeastern areas. Since the climate in northern and southern parts of the basin is different, the land types differ as well. For example wetlands are a valuable farm resource. Agriculture should not think of wetlands as unusable land, because they help with Flood Control and act as nutrient supplies for phosphorus and nitrogen, which are necessary for plants. They also provide essential habitat for a wide variety of species. The wetlands cover approximately 8 percent of the drainage basin and are most found in the northern regions. The majority are found in the Bothnian Bay drainage basin (41 percent). The Bothnian Sea, Gulf of Finland and Baltic Proper drainage basins each have between 16 and 17 percent of the total wetlands, while the remaining regions in the south contain fewer than 6 percent of the total wetlands.

[Gillnetter]

Hey everyone

I'm writing a 800 words essay on Baltic Sea Region Farming, and I've finished the second paragraph, which is the first body paragraph. Can you please read it and tell me what you think? Suggestions and error reports are welcome! :)

The Baltic Sea drainage basin is four times the surface area of the sea itself, and half of it is forested. Finland and Sweden have most of the forests, especially in the northern and northeastern areas. Since the climate in the northern and southern parts of the basin is different, the land types differ as well. For example, wetlands are a valuable farm resource. Agriculture (Agriculture can't think - those who practice agriculture think) should not think of wetlands as unusable land, because they help with flood control and act as nutrient supplies suppliers for phosphorus and nitrogen, which are necessary for plants. They The wetlands also provide essential habitat for a wide variety of species. The wetlands cover approximately 8 eight percent of the drainage basin and are mostly found in the northern regions. The majority are found in the Bothnian Bay drainage basin (41 percent). The Bothnian Sea, Gulf of Finland and Baltic Proper drainage basins each have between 16 and 17 percent of the total wetlands, while the remaining regions in the south contain fewer than 6 six percent of the total wetlands.

Here are a few changes for your consideration.

[AryanK]

Thanks a lot! Do I have to write all numbers in words?

Here's another paragraph. I hope that you look through this as well.

On the other hand, the southern regions contain a lot of pasture lands which are required for grazing livestock such as cattle and horses. These lands can be mostly found around the edge of the Baltic Proper, in Poland, Germany, Denmark, and Sweden. In these regions, milk and dairy products are produced.
Countries like Denmark produce poultry, beef cattle and fur skins. All regions in Poland raise dairy cows, beef cattle, pigs, and poultry both for their local market and for export. In the northern parts pasture lands are rare, so farmers are specialized in dairying, and reindeers are raised for their meat and for their antlers and skins. The fresh-water fishing industry is concentrated in the numerous lakes mostly in the southern areas such as Poland. However, fishing industry suffers from depletion, because the principal fishing grounds have become overfished by the many modern fishing fleets that enter North European waters, especially Baltic Sea. Germany has tried to establish rules that would prevent overfishing through The European Country, but the rules were difficult to enforce.

[Carlhya]

Well, I'm not an expert on the topic, but I think you could organize your ideas. First, write a topic sentence in which you say, in general terms, what you want to talk about. Then, write more sentences which support the main idea. This way you may have a better organized essay.
It's just an opinion :)

[Gillnetter]

Thanks a lot! Do I have to write all numbers in words?
There is no hard rule about numbers but the convention is that you should spell out numbers that are less than 10.

The possessive of it is its
Here's another paragraph. I hope that you look through this as well.


On the other hand, the southern regions contain a lot of pasture lands which are required for grazing livestock such as cattle and horses. These lands can be mostly found around the edge of the Baltic proper, in Poland, Germany, Denmark, and Sweden. In these regions, milk and dairy products are produced.

Countries like Denmark produce poultry, beef cattle and fur skins. All regions in Poland raise dairy cows, beef cattle, pigs, and poultry both for their local market and for export. In the northern parts pasture lands are rare, so farmers are specialized in dairying, and reindeers are raised for their meat and for their antlers and skins. The fresh-water fishing industry is concentrated in the numerous lakes mostly in the southern areas such as Poland. However, the fishing industry suffers from depletion, because the principal fishing grounds have become overfished by the many modern fishing fleets that enter North European waters, especially the Baltic Sea. Germany has had tried to establish rules that would prevent overfishing through The European Country (countries?), but the rules were difficult to enforce.

The final sentence could be written a number of different ways depeding on the tense. I changed "has" to "had" to make it agree with "were".

[harrypurple]

Essays always look better with a good strong structure.For essay writing its good to start with a proper introductory paragraph. The end of this introduciton should have a thesis statement, saying what it is you are going to be discussing in the essay.

Next comes the main body of the essay, where you bring in your ideas one by one and discuss them as a whole.

You finish with the conclusion where you sum up your main points and refer back to your introduction to make sure you have answered your thesis statement or explored it in some way.

Have you tried looking for a cheap essay editing company with professional academic editors to look it over for you? Specialist non-native English text editing might be useful for you.

Good luck!

[Gillnetter]

This is only part of an essay that AryanK is writing. I believe that AryanK is correct in writing this essay and learning from it. A professional editing company may be fine for someone who needs a business or legal document corrected, but AryanK is in the process of learning a new language.

[RonBee]

Note:

Say:
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an 800-word essay

[AryanK]

Thanks a lot Gillnetter! You helped me a lot on this essay!

Of course these were only parts of my essay. I'll tell you my grade for this essay as soon as my teacher reveals it. :)

[RonBee]

Rather than saying the "farmers are specialized in dairying" it would be better to say that farmers specialize in dairy farming.