Pl. help me to correct the 1st 2 paragraph of a citation

[ricardosong]

Dear Tdol,

Could you please help me to correct a citation for a recipient of a honorary doctorate and make it better? Tks a lot!

[Tdol]

which earned him a worldwide reputation.- have earned
at the early stage of his primary education.- an early stage/early on in his ...
received from the Pu Middle School chosen by his parents- at Pu Middle School, chosen by his parents
launched the foundations- laid
At that time, he already began to display - By that time, he had already... ??
to proceed his studies under Professor Gunning- to continue/further his studies
Prof. X has committed himself to the researches in several complex variables - to research into several...
witness this rising star to become a dominant figure- rising sta become (though isn't he already a major figure- a rising star hasn't made it yet)
In 1996, he concluded his Doctor Degree from that tertiary institution, famous for the "Beautiful Mind".
- I'd delete tertiary institution- no one else can give doctorates
had got his highest academic degree- he had this highest academic degree
the Yale University and the Standford University- delete 'the' with these two- the University of X, but X University
have always been the "observed of the observers" - have always be noted by the notable ???
academic circle.- circles
such as Associate Editor of the- such as being the...

[ricardosong]

Dear Tdol,

Thank you so much for your reply, that is very useful. Regarding your "???", I sill would like to have your help on the following:

1. At that time, he already began to display - By that time, he had already... ??


What's is difference between At that time and By that time. I want to refer to the time he was at middle school.

2.In 1996, he concluded his Doctor Degree from that tertiary institution, famous for the "Beautiful Mind".
- I'd delete tertiary institution- no one else can give doctorates

You are certainly right. But acctually I'm doing a translation and it seems that the original author likes to mention the "Beautiful Mind". Can you make it more natural?


3. - delete 'the' with these two- the University of X, but X University Why?
have always been the "observed of the observers" - have always be noted by the notable ???

I want to say he's the centre of the attention and his achivements are notable. How can express this idea? Is the expression I used here is not suitable to the context?


Best regards

Ricardo

[Tdol]

1- By the time suggests that the prgress had started earlier.
2- Leav the Beautiful \Mind, maybe just say 'institution'.
'tertiary' is unnecessary.
3 Observers can be anybody, the notable are worthy of attention.

[ricardosong]

Thank you so much for your help!