please help me check my essay

[markbaumol]

hi there, i will take ielts test in 2 week time. please help me to check my essay. thanks a lot~

There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Currently, music has been an integrated part of our life, where it is common to see people wear headphones, carrying an Ipod or a mp3 player on their hands. It also exerts a multitude of beneficial functions both physically and psychologically. Meanwhile, people place varying weights on the importance of conventional music and global one. As far as I am concerned, these two kinds of music both play irreplaceable roles in our society in terms of cultural and social aspects.

Music has been long establishing its indispensable status in people’s life with multiple effects. To begin with, some forms of music, like country music or simply instrumental music, can smooth the tense nerves and refresh tired soul. It is one of the best means that people can attain to restore themselves after a whole day of busy work. Also music provides people with solutions to heal certain disease. Due to the synthetic effects of music and SPA, the condition of people with some chronic psychological disease and their physical performance can be immensely improved, which allows another alternative for the patients with almost no side effects, compared to the pure chemical medicine treatments. Thus, people are keen on living with the companion of music.

As to the importance of vernacular music and its international counterpart, they are equally imperative in the advancement of our society. Not only conventional music can reflect the cultural diversity of different races, but it can also unify people from the same origin. This is why people always perform their traditional music in their distinctive ethic festivals and the tune of this music always reminds people of their roots. Therefore, vernacular music serves a role more than simply music, but a symbol of an ethic identity of a country.

With respect to global music, it reveals a way of communication between different countries. Nowadays, trendy music like R&B or Rap can be heard in every corner of the world, which shows people have the equal opportunity to access to the latest development of music and share the common theme. As such, music has overcome the language and geological barrier and become the truly global language between different countries.

In conclusion, music serves multifunction purposes regarding to the recreational and medical effects, which is necessitated in people’s life. Meanwhile, traditional music and international are both crucial to our society on the ground that vernacular music is the symbol of a country, while international music is a means of communication between countries.

[tedtmc]

hi there, i will take ielts test in 2 week time. please help me to check my essay. thanks a lot~

There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Currently Today/Nowadays, music has been is an integrated part of our life, where and it is common to see people wear headphones, carrying an Ipod or a mp3 player on their hands whereever they are. It also exerts a multitude of beneficial functions Music has many beneficial effects on us both physically and psychologically. Meanwhile At the same time, people place varying weights different emphasis on the importance of conventional as well as international music and global one. As far as I am concerned, these two kinds of music both play irreplaceable roles in our society in terms of the cultural and social aspects.

Music has been long long been establishing its indispensable status playing its role in the different aspects of people’s life with multiple effects. To begin with, some forms of music, like country music or simply instrumental music, can smooth the tense nerves and refresh tired souls. It is one of the best means that people can for people to attain to restore/refresh/rejuvenate themselves after a whole day of busy work. Also, music provides people with solutions is known to be a form of remedy to heal certain diseases. Due to the synthetic synergistic effects of music and SPA, the condition of people with some chronic psychological diseases and their physical performance can be immensely significantly improved, which allows provides another alternative form of treatment to for the patients with almost no side effects, compared to the pure chemical medicine treatment with medicine. Thus, people are keen on living with the companion availing themselves to the therapeutic effects of music.

As to the importance of vernacular music and its international counterpart, they are equally imperative important in the advancement of our society. Not only can conventional music can reflect the cultural diversity of different races, but it can also unify people from the same origin. This is why people always perform their traditional music in during their distinctive ethic festivals and the tune of this the music always reminds people of their roots. Therefore, vernacular music serves a role more than simply music plays a greater role than music per se, but is a symbol of an the ethic identity of a country.

With respect to Global music, it reveals a way serves as a form of communication between different countries. Nowadays, trendy music like R&B or Rap can be heard in every corner of the world, which shows people havethe equal opportunities to access to the latest development of in music and share the common theme. As such, music has overcome the language and geological geographical barriers and has become the truly global language between different countries.

In conclusion, music serves multifunction multiple purposes functions regarding to the including the entertainment, recreational and medical effects aspects, which is necessitated in people’s life lives. Meanwhile At the same time, traditional music and international music are both crucial vital/important to our society on the ground that for the reasons that vernacular music is the symbol of a country, while international music is a means of communication between countries.

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[markbaumol]

thanks a lot, tedtmc.i will revise my essay based on your advice