Please help me check and edit it?

[ping0303]

This is a short script, could you help me check and edit it?
Thanks a lot.


<David is waiting for Eden, because he knows Eden has a class on the morning>

Eden :Dad , I have to go now! Bye!( sleep over the time , then run out of the door)
Brian : Eden , you forget to bring your breakfast! (go out the door)
David: uncle! I can take the breakfast to Eden !(hear the words of Eden said, immediately go to next door to take breakfast with Brian)
Brian: Really ! Thank you very much!
David: Wait! You must have to remember to eat breakfast!(At the moment Eden is going to the class, Eden takes the breakfast for Eden)

<Or, when see Eden need help>
(it’s raining after the class)

Eden: oops , I forget to bring an umbrella..
David: you will catch a cold !(he see Eden have no umbrella ,go with Eden)

<Or suddenly see Eden is pouring a trash>
Eden:(take a trash with hard look)
David:Let me do that!(he pretending pass and help Eden take the trash ,when he see Eden there)
David: We meet again！(after pouring the trash)
Eden: Yes！I would like to go home now ！And you？
David:Un..(with hesitant look..teacher says that if I don’t go to the calss,he may fails me.. but.when David think he can go home with Eden happily ,he immediately says ) yes, I want to go home ,too. Let’s go!

Eden: Do you think we meet often ? It’s so strange..
David: ha! I think it must be destiny!(hold the Eden's hand)

[Raymott]

This is a short script, could you help me check and edit it?
Thanks a lot.


<David is waiting for Eden, because he knows Eden has a class on the morning>

Eden: Dad, I have to go now! Bye!( sleep over the time[?] , then runs out of the door)
Brian: Eden, you forget to bring take your breakfast! (goes out the door)
David: Uncle! I can take the breakfast to Eden! (hears the words of Eden said, immediately goes to next door to take breakfast with Brian [?])
Brian: Really! Thank you very much!
David: Wait! You must have to remember to eat breakfast! (At the moment Eden is going to the class, Eden [?] takes the breakfast for Eden)

<Or, when he sees Eden needs help>
(it's raining after the class)

Eden: Oops, I forget to bring an umbrella...
David: You will catch a cold! (he sees Eden has no umbrella, goes with Eden)

<Or suddenly sees Eden is emptying a trash>
Eden: (take a trash with hard look)[?]
David: Let me do that! (he pretends to pass and help Eden take the trash, when he see Eden there)
David: We meet again! (after pouring the trash)
Eden: Yes! I would like to go home now！And you？
David: Um ... (with hesitant look ...) Teacher says that if I don’t go to the class, he may fail me ... (but when David thinks he can go home with Eden happily, he immediately says:) yes, I want to go home, too. Let’s go!

Eden: Do you think we meet often ? It's so strange...
David: ha! I think it must be destiny!(holds Eden's hand)

[?] The bits marked like this, I don't understand.
Punctuation: word mark space word. For example, "home ,too" is wrong. I have fixed it all. You'll notice that this pattern is invariable.
Three dots for an ellipsis ...