paragraph --Can you Please check this paragraph writing‎ -‏

[soofy19]

Could you please check this paragraph for grammatical errors/awkward phrases?

I just want to get good mark could you help me ..

MY MOTHER

Life without someone who loves us is impossible, just like a world empty of people. Everyone in this world has someone who takes care of them. So do I. She is my mother.

I really respect my mother. Although she is getting old she always dresses well. For her, it is very important to dress well. When someone asks meabout my mother, I love to talk to them about her. Her name is Wan Rohani Wan Ahmad. She is 46 years old. She is approximately 5 feet tall and very slim. Unlike me, she has skin that is fair and soft. Something I like very much is that she has a dimple in her cheek and also in her chin. So, when she speaks and smiles, she looks very beautiful.

My mother has long and curly hair. Sometimes I am really afraid of her big eyes. Let me tell you why. As a mother, she always gives me good advice and occasionally scolds me. So, when she does that, her big eyes change, she narrows her eyes and looks so sharp that I am afraid. Even though she always scolds me, I know that it is because as a mother she wants to make sure all of her children have the right attitude.

To me, my mother means everything. She is my family, my support and my adviser. Even when I have trouble with my friends she helps me.She always pushes me to study hard and to have the best education. As agood mother , she likes to lend a hand to complete my homework when I am doubtful. She's good at everything. I think, it is a great deal to have a mother like her.

Beside be a good mother and wife, she is also a good cook. She loves to cook. She knows what each of us likes to eat. Every day, she cooks our favourite dishes to make sure we enjoy a good meal. With her around, my life is heaven!

When I think of my mother, I always remember this song:
***********

Finally, I really want to say that I love my mother very much! In this life, I will make sure that I respect her and don't do anything to let her trust in me down. I love my mother..

[Gillnetter]

Could you please check this paragraph for grammatical errors/awkward phrases?

I just want to get good mark could you help me ..

MY MOTHER

Life without someone who loves us is impossible, just like a world empty of people. Everyone in this world has someone who takes care of them. So do I. She is my mother.
(There is nothing wrong with your opening statement, but I disagree with it. Life is very possible without someone to love you - it happens quite often. Not everyone in this world has someone to take care of them - consider the children who have no parents, or, someone whose parent's have left them.)
I really respect my mother. Although she is getting old, she always dresses well. For her, it is very important to dress well. When someone asks me about my mother, I love to talk to them about her. Her name is Wan Rohani Wan Ahmad. She is 46 years old. She is approximately 5 feet tall and very slim. Unlike me, she has skin that is fair and soft. Something I like very much is that she has a dimple in on her cheek and also in on her chin. So, when she speaks and smiles, she looks very beautiful.

My mother has long and curly hair. Sometimes I am really afraid of her big eyes. Let me tell you why. As a mother, she always gives me good advice and occasionally scolds me. So, when she does that, her big eyes change, she narrows her eyes and looks so sharp that I am afraid. Even though she always scolds me, I know that it is because, as a mother, she wants to make sure all of her children have the right attitude.

To me, my mother means everything. She is my family, my support and my adviser. Even when I have trouble with my friends, she helps me. She always pushes me to study hard and to have get the best education. As a good mother, she likes to lend a hand to complete help me with my homework (Unless she is really doing all of the homework by herself.) when I am doubtful (I would change this to "in doubt".). She's good at everything. I think, it is a great deal to have a mother like her.

Beside being a good mother and wife, she is also a good cook. She loves to cook. She knows what each of us likes to eat. Every day, she cooks our favourite dishes to make sure we enjoy a good meal. With her around, my life is heaven!

When I think of my mother, I always remember this song:
***********

Finally, I really want to say that I love my mother very much! In this life, I will make sure that I respect her and don't do anything to let her trust in me down. I love my mother. (In this life is fine but it implies that there are other lives - in this life I am a cook, in another life I was a truck driver, in some future life I will be a dancer.)

This is written very well and you should get a high grade for it. I suggested a few changes and added some commas. Good job!