Please correct the Essay

[mgn_v]

Hi All,

I have been preparing for IELTS exam. Please correct the essay, if anything is wrong. It would be really helpful for me to improve my english skills and vocabulary.

Question:
You live in a room in college which you share with another classmate. You find it very difficult to work there because he or she always has friends visiting. They have parties and overnight stay in the room and sometimes use your things without asking you.
Write a letter to the Hostel warden at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a Single PG Room.
Answer:
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Rahul, am staying in room no.20, 'S' block sharing with another classmate.
I am writing to inform you that I need a new room for the next term.
I cannot concentrate my studies, because of the disturbances. My roommate has more number of friends. Other students are always visiting the room often to talk with my roommate. Sometimes, till mid-night they have parties and gossips which make me uncomfortable and distraction from studies. After the mid-night parties, they stayed in the room where we could find enough space to accommodate others. Few occasions, they have used my belongings without my knowledge like my clothes, study materials, etc. I found very difficult to cope up with them.
I would request you to change my room for the next term. I would prefer the single PG room, which I do not want to share with anyone. Meanwhile, please make the necessary action.
Look forward your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Rahul

[Gillnetter]

Hi All,

I have been preparing for the IELTS exam. Please correct the this essay, if anything is wrong. It would be really helpful for me to improve my English skills and vocabulary. (This is not an essay, it is a letter.)

Question:
You live in a room in college which you share with another classmate. You find it very difficult to work there because he or she always has friends visiting. They have parties and overnight stay in the room and sometimes use your things without asking you.
Write a letter to the Hostel warden at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a Single PG Room.
Answer:
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Rahul, I am staying in room no. 20 (There are a number of ways to write this - #20, number 20, no. 20, room #20, or simply room 20.), 'S' block, sharing with another classmate.
I am writing to inform you that I need a new room for the next term.
I cannot concentrate my studies because of the disturbances. My roommate has more a number of friends. Other students are always visiting the room often ("always" and "often" are in conflict here. It can't be both - delete "often".)to talk with my roommate. Sometimes, till mid -night they have parties until midnight and gossip, which make me uncomfortable and distraction distracts me from my studies. After the midnight parties, they stayed stay in the room where we could find enough space to accommodate others (I'm no sure what the last part of this sentence means. I suggest deleting everything after "room".). On a few occasions, they have used my belongings without my knowledge like my clothes, study materials, etc. I found find it very difficult to cope up with them.
I would request you to change my room for the next term. I would prefer the single PG room, which I do not want to share with anyone. Meanwhile, please make the necessary action. (This sentence is a demand, not a request. I would delete it.)
Look forward your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Rahul

Gil