Writing a letter asking for advice

[james1994]

So I'm wanting to have a career as a butler/footman and want to write a letter to the Butler and Footman department at Buckingham Palace asking for advice on which is the best route to get there. However, I am getting a bit stuck on how to word it. Here is what I have so far:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to ask for advice on how to become a footman or butler as
I am interested in having a career in this field and my aspiration is to one day work at Buckingham Palace.
This summer, I left school with 8 qualifications including a GCSE in Hospitality at Grade B and I am now studying towards a diploma in Hospitality Management as well as an NVQ in Food and Drink Service at my local further education college.

Does that sound good? How can I improve or add to it? Thank you if you can help me

[Gillnetter]

So I'm wanting to have a career as a butler/footman and want to write a letter to the Butler and Footman department at Buckingham Palace asking for advice on which is the best route to get there. However, I am getting a bit stuck on how to word it. Here is what I have so far:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to ask for advice on how to become a footman or butler. as I am interested in having a career in this field and my aspiration is to one day work at Buckingham Palace.
This summer, I left school with 8 qualifications including a GCSE(Spell out what this is.) in Hospitality at Grade B and I am now studying towards a diploma in Hospitality Management as well as an NVQ (Spell out what this is.) in Food and Drink Service at my local further education college.

Does that sound good? How can I improve or add to it? Thank you if you can help me

It is of limited use to include such terms as GCSE and NVQ unless you are certain that the reader is familiar with them - I am not and am at a loss as to what they mean. Also, what does "8 qualifications" mean? Is the term "further education college" a common term where you live?