Cultural Changes

[qizi]

Hello, everyone. This is an essay about cultural changes in China's countryside. Could you help me proofread it? Thank you very much.

On the National Day, I returned to my hometown, a village along the Yellow River. I noticed that there were many people driving a vehicle worth thousands of dollars, though their way of dressing still went unchanged. I was excited about this.

However, my excitement seemed to disappear after a little chat. I heard of two incidents from local people. The first happened in the nearby countryside. A man there was killed at home by three brothers as a result of land lease disputes. The man attempted to rent land at a low price, but had his offer rejected. Being furious, he hired someone to beat up the land owner and threatened to kill him. The murder in his opinion was merely a matter of several thousand dollars. In retaliation, the beaten landlord asked his two brothers for help and killed the man. Four families have thus been broken. The second tragedy occurred in our village. In order to harvest corn, a man wanted to drive his truck across the land of his neighbor’s. This was refused by the old woman next door who couldn’t bear to see her crops being destroyed. In their quarrel, the woman lay down on her field, claming that the truck would have to pass over her dead body. Regardless of this protest, the man in the truck roared past. In the end, the driver only paid several thousand dollars as compensation to the woman’s family.

When I was young, folks in my village did not have to close door at night for fear of burglary. If I returned after school only to find no one at home, it came naturally for a neighboring lady to beckon me to come and join their dinner. During harvest season, we would ask neighbors to help us and treat them with a simple dinner, chatting for a while. Yet villagers here have changed their perception of and values in life. As the government is vigorously developing rural economy, I expect my hometown to soon improve its environment markedly. However, the incidents mentioned above have set me thinking: do we need to guide people to form and maintain their cultural values?

[Gillnetter]

Hello, everyone. This is an essay about cultural changes in China's countryside. Could you help me proofread it? Thank you very much.

On the National Day, I returned to my hometown, a village along the Yellow River. I noticed that there were many people driving a vehicles (Many people can't drive a vehicle, they drive vehicles.) worth thousands of dollars, though their way of dressing still went was unchanged. I was excited about this.

However, my excitement seemed to disappear after a little chat. I heard of two incidents from local people. The first happened in the nearby countryside. A man there was killed at home by three brothers as a result of land lease disputes. The man attempted to rent land at a low price, but had his offer rejected. Being furious, he hired someone to beat up the land owner and threatened to kill him. The murder, in his opinion, was merely a matter of several thousand dollars. In retaliation, the beaten landlord asked his two brothers for help and killed the man. Four families have thus been broken. The second tragedy occurred in our village. In order to harvest corn, a man wanted to drive his truck across the land of his neighbor’s (It would be easier to use the possesive here - "...across his neighbor's land."). This was refused by the old woman next door who couldn’t bear to see her crops being destroyed. In their quarrel, the woman lay down on her field, claming that the truck would have to pass over her dead body. Regardless of this protest, the man in the truck roared past. In the end, the driver only paid several thousand dollars as compensation to the woman’s family (Did the truck run over the woman?).

When I was young, folks in my village did not have to close their doors at night for fear of burglary. If I returned after school only to find no one at home, it came naturally for a neighboring lady to beckon me to come and join their dinner. During harvest season, we would ask neighbors to help us and treat them with a simple dinner, chatting for a while. Yet villagers here have changed their perception of, and values, in life. As the government is vigorously developing the rural economy, I expect my hometown to soon improve its environment markedly. However, the incidents mentioned above have set me thinking: do we need to guide people to form (The values have already been formed) and maintain their cultural values?

Gil

[qizi]

Thank you very much, Gil. I still have two questions.

Regardless of this protest, the man in the truck roared past. In the end, the driver only paid several thousand dollars as compensation to the woman’s family (Did the truck run over the woman?).

The truck ran over the woman. I tried to convey this message by this sentence: "the man in the truck roared past". Is this wrong? Could you help me rewrite it?

Yet villagers here have changed their perception of, and values, in life.

Why are there two commas? And why is the second comma put right before "in" rather than right after "in", as in "changed their perception of, and values in, life."?
Thank you for your time. Wish you a good day.

[Gillnetter]

Thank you very much, Gil. I still have two questions.

The truck ran over the woman. I tried to convey this message by this sentence: "the man in the truck roared past". Is this wrong? Could you help me rewrite it?

The truck roared past (not the man in the truck - he was merely a passenger) - this only means that the truck went past. It does not state that the truck hit anyone. Rewrite, "The truck roared past and struck the woman, killing her."
Why are there two commas? And why is the second comma put right before "in" rather than right after "in", as in "changed their perception of, and values in, life."?
Yet villagers here have changed their perception of and values in life.

Yes, this should be rewritten, "Yet, villagers here have changed their perception of, and values in, life."

There should be a comma after "Yet". Now take the sentence apart this way - "Yet, villagers here have changed their perception of life." If the part about "and values in" is taken out - this is still a good sentence. The "and values in" part is additional information. Do you know what this additional information is called in grammar?
Thank you for your time. Wish you a good day.

Gil

[qizi]

Thank you. The additional information is called "redundancy" in grammar. Am I right?
And for this sentence:

do we need to guide people to form (The values have already been formed) and maintain their cultural values?

Could I change it to "Should we guide people to preserve traditional values?"?
Thank you.

[Gillnetter]

Thank you. The additional information is called "redundancy" in grammar. Am I right?
And for this sentence: Could I change it to "Should we guide people to preserve traditional values?"?
Thank you.

No - redunancy is more of saying the same thing again. A standard example is, a hollow tube. Tubes are hollow. Additional information could be, "The car went fast, it's motor was purring nicely, as it moved around the track." The part about the motor is additional information but it is not redundant.

Your change about guiding people sounds fine.