Please help me check the essay about volunteer experiences

[tosucceed999]

This is my essay about volunteer experiences, please help me check this essay!!!

Volunteer working is a kind of activity that helps poor people in the community where we live. In July 2010, I came to study abroad in New Zealand. The first way was very difficult for me to communicate with the native speakers. Later, I try to study by myself all the incidents that I do not know and I gradually accept a new life.
I studied in a boy’s high school. This school is very good and many Vietnamese children that have parents work in the Vietnamese Embassy study there. By the introduction of a friend, I find out a Catholic volunteer organization for homeless people in Wellington, which locates near my school. Therefore, I thought it will be the best choice for me to have experiences when I was still a student. I work every week on Saturday morning from seven o’clock until nine o’clock, so I needed t get up early at about six o’clock in the morning. At the first time, it was very tired because I am the main washer in the kitchen. There are about five people on Saturday morning which includes a manger, me and other volunteers. However, we need to serve for around from twenty to thirty homeless people. Most of them are from thirty to forty. Besides washing dishes, I also clean all the tables after they finished their meals. Sometimes I thought I should give up doing these jobs because all my friends were paid with high salaries when they did the same jobs as me but for long hours in restaurants, supermarkets, and so on. But I think again and again many times is that: why I need to do that? Is it good for me when I do that? Did I receive any precious experiences after doing these jobs?
Many nights I thought many, and then I decided not to give up my volunteer jobs. I knew that: when I have the house with good heater and warm bedroom, many people still lived sleep outside during nights without food, thick blanket and hot water. When my parents paid money for me to go to study in good school, meet teachers to discuss about my study, some children who parents had died had to work from morning to night to buy food and necessary facilities for their life. I also remember one sentence of a person that I have read on my school’s website: life’s most persistent and urgent questions is:” what are you doing for others?”, that was Father Martin Luther King’s sentence. Finally, I think my decision is right and I have the mission to keep it going well until I came back to Viet Nam in November, when I finished grade 12.

[Gillnetter]

This is my essay about volunteer experiences, please help me check this essay!!!

Volunteer working is a kind of activity that helps poor people in the community where we live. In July 2010, I came to study abroad in New Zealand. The first way was very difficult for me to communicate with the native speakers. Later, I try (x) to study by myself all the incidents that I do (x) not know and I gradually accept a new life.
I studied in a boy’s high school. This school is very good and many Vietnamese children that have parents work in the Vietnamese Embassy study there. By the introduction of a friend, I find (x) out a Catholic volunteer organization for homeless people in Wellington, which locates (x) near my school. Therefore, I thought it will (x) be the best choice for me to have experiences when I was still a student. I work (x) every week on Saturday morning from seven o’clock until nine o’clock, so I needed t get up early at about six o’clock in the morning. At the first time, it was very tired because I am the main washer in the kitchen. There are about five people on Saturday morning which includes a manger, me and other volunteers. However, we need to serve for around from twenty to thirty homeless people. Most of them are from thirty to forty. Besides washing dishes, I also clean (x) all the tables after they finished their meals. Sometimes I thought I should give up doing these jobs because all my friends were paid with high salaries when they did the same jobs as me but for long hours in restaurants, supermarkets, and so on. But I think again and again many times is that: why I need to do that? Is it good for me when I do that? Did I receive any precious experiences after doing these jobs?
Many nights I thought many, and then I decided not to give up my volunteer jobs. I knew that: when I have the house with good heater and warm bedroom, many people still lived sleep outside during nights without food, thick blanket and hot water. When my parents paid money for me to go to study in good school, meet teachers to discuss about my study, some children who parents had died had to work from morning to night to buy food and necessary facilities for their life. I also remember one sentence of a person that I have read on my school’s website: life’s most persistent and urgent questions is:” what are you doing for others?”, that was Father Martin Luther King’s sentence. Finally, I think my decision is right and I have the mission to keep it going well until I came back to Viet Nam in November, when I finished grade 12.

Before editing this piece any further I believe that you should check every word with an (x) after it. You have problems with tenses - an event happened in the past and you are using the present tense. After you put in the correct tenses I will edit the piece for you.

[tosucceed999]

Thanks for your advice.

[tosucceed999]

Volunteer working is a kind of activity that helps poor people in the community where we live. In July 2010, I came to study abroad in New Zealand. The first way was very difficult for me to communicate with the native speakers. Later, I tried to study by myself all the incidents that I did not know and I gradually accept a new life.
I studied in a boy’s high school. This school is very good and many Vietnamese children that have parents work in the Vietnamese Embassy study there. By the introduction of a friend, I found out a Catholic volunteer organization for homeless people in Wellington, which located near my school. Therefore, I thought it would be the best choice for me to have experiences when I was still a student. I worked every week on Saturday morning from seven o’clock until nine o’clock, so I needed t get up early at about six o’clock in the morning. At the first time, it was very tired because I am the main washer in the kitchen. There are about five people on Saturday morning which includes a manger, me and other volunteers. However, we need to serve for around from twenty to thirty homeless people. Most of them are from thirty to forty. Besides washing dishes, I also cleaned all the tables after they finished their meals. Sometimes I thought I should give up doing these jobs because all my friends were paid with high salaries when they did the same jobs as me but for long hours in restaurants, supermarkets, and so on. But I think again and again many times is that: why I need to do that? Is it good for me when I do that? Did I receive any precious experiences after doing these jobs?
Many nights I thought many, and then I decided not to give up my volunteer jobs. I knew that: when I have the house with good heater and warm bedroom, many people still lived sleep outside during nights without food, thick blanket and hot water. When my parents paid money for me to go to study in good school, meet teachers to discuss about my study, some children who parents had died had to work from morning to night to buy food and necessary facilities for their life. I also remembered one sentence of a person that I have read on my school’s website: life’s most persistent and urgent questions is: ” What are you doing for others?”, that was Father Martin Luther King’s sentence. Finally, I thought my decision was right and I had kept it going well until I came back to Viet Nam in November, when I finished grade 12.

[Gillnetter]

Volunteer working is a kind of activity that helps poor people in the community where we live. In July 2010, I came to study abroad in New Zealand. The At first way it was very difficult for me to communicate with the native speakers. Later, I tried to study by myself all the incidents things that I did not know understand and I gradually accepted a new life.
I studied in a boy’s high school. This school is very good and many Vietnamese children that have parents work in the Vietnamese Embassy study there(This sentence says that the children who have parents work in the embassy. The children probably do not work in the embassy. As a general rule, most children have parents. Rewrite - The school is very good and many of the Vietnamese students have parents who work in the Vietnamese Embassy.). By the introduction of a friend, I found out a Catholic volunteer organization for homeless people in Wellington, which was located near my school. Therefore, I thought it would be the best choice for me to have experiences when I was still a student (One has experience all of his life. Rewrite - Therefore, I thought it would be the best choice for me to experience working with homeless people while I was still a student.). I worked every week on Saturday morning from seven o’clock until nine o’clock, so I needed to get up early at about six o’clock in the morning. At The first time, it I was very tired because I am was the main washer in the kitchen. There are were about five people on Saturday morning which includes included a manger manager, me and other volunteers and me. However, we needed to serve for around from twenty to thirty homeless people. Most of them are were from thirty to forty years old. Besides washing dishes, I also cleaned all the tables after they finished their meals. Sometimes I thought I should give up doing these jobs because all my friends were paid with high salaries when they did the same jobs as me but working for long hours in restaurants, supermarkets, and so on. But I think thought again and again many times is that: why do I need to do that? Is it good for me when I do that? Did Would I receive any precious experiences after doing these jobs?
Many nights I thought many, about this and then I decided not to give up my volunteer jobs. I knew that when while I have had a house with a good heater and a warm bedroom, many people still lived sleep slept outside during nights without food, thick blankets and hot water. When While my parents paid money for me to go to study in a good school, meet teachers to discuss about my study my studies; some children who parents had died had to work from morning to night to buy food and necessary facilities necessities for their life. I also remembered one sentence of a person that I have read on my school’s website: life’s most persistent and urgent questions is: ” What are you doing for others?”, that was Father Martin Luther King’s sentence (King was not a father in the religious sense). Finally, I thought my decision was right and I had kept it going well stuck with my decision until I came back to Viet Nam in November, when I finished grade 12.

Gil

[tosucceed999]

Thanks a lot!!

[tosucceed999]

Thanks a lot!!