Please help me correct this ( just grammar and vocab)

[longlongnguyen]

please help me correct this one (just grammar and vocab) and if possible please tell me the band i may get , thanks very much.

The graph shows the number of visitors who came to two exhibition which were about Modern Sculpture (MS) and 20th Century Emphemera (2CE)
As can be seen from the chart, the number of visitors to 2CE was overall experienced more fluctuation than the other did. At the beginning of the year, the MS, after a quite impressive start at 100000 people, witnessed a sharp drop in numbers to about 20000, where the quantity stayed stable for the next three months. Meanwhile, despite of the poor figure during January, the number of visitors to 2CE grown steadily by nearly 20000 per month until it reached 90000 in April. During May, the numbers at MS suddenly rocketed to around 150000, whereas the 2CE suffered a dramatic downfall. However, both exhibition reached the same level at about 80000 by next month. For the rest of the year, there was quite a difference in the trend of the number of visitors who came to the exhibitions. specifically, the MS enjoyed a steady rise in numbers till November and December at 150000, meanwhile the considerable bounce back in quantity at 2CE to 150000 in August did not last for long as it plummeted quickly and stopped at 45000 at the end of the year

[Gillnetter]

Please help me correct this one (just grammar and vocab) and, if possible, please tell me the band that I may would get. Thanks very much.

The graph shows the number of visitors who came to two exhibitions,(1)which were about Modern Sculpture (MS) and 20th Century Emphemera (2CE).
As can be seen from the chart, the number of visitors to 2CE was overall experienced more fluctuation than the other did. At the beginning of the year, the MS, after a quite impressive start at 100,000 people, witnessed a sharp drop in numbers to about 20,000, where the quantity stayed stable for the next three months. Meanwhile, despite of the poor figure during January, the number of visitors to 2CE grown grew (2) steadily by nearly 20,000 per month until it reached 90,000 in April. During May, the numbers at MS suddenly rocketed to around 150,000, whereas the 2CE suffered a dramatic downfall. However, both exhibitions reached the same level at about 80,000 by next month. For the rest of the year, there was quite a difference in the trend of the number of visitors who came to the exhibitions. Specifically, the MS enjoyed a steady rise in numbers till November and December at when it reached 150,000, meanwhile, the considerable bounce back in quantity at 2CE to 150,000 in August did not last for long, as it plummeted quickly and stopped at 45,000 at the end of the year

When writing large numbers (any number larger than 999), start at the last figure on the right and count three numbers to the left. To the left of the third number insert a comma (150,000 - 150,000,000).
(1) There was more than one exhibition - there were exhibitions.
(2) Grown is incorrect. It either grew or had grown.