TOEFL essay: Please leave your total advice about my essay.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There are many scenes in people’s long life that people have to make serious decisions. Whether we ask someone for advice or not may depends on the individual. As far as I am concerned, if I have to decision specifically about mu future career, I may try to find someone who provides me suitable advice.
In the first place, good advices will you help find another choice. In my experience, when I could not make decision about my future after graduation of a high school, it was my uncle to encourage me to go to university. At the time, without my conscious of the way of the world, I had never been aware of importance of going to a college. But my uncle taught me that going to a university is an important place where I can gain fundamental skills to live in society such as the way of getting along with others, or develop my future career. I was too young to make sense of how much splendid and important going to a college would become. His advice based on his experience certainly lead me to good chance to expand and deepen the knowledge, which cold have never gain if I had made decision just by myself.
Moreover, people who have to make important decision may make much use of prestigious books which is containing the diligent or famous people’s way of life. There can exist some of hints to offer the helpful hand to show you good way. I am also of them who can receive an inspiration from their way of thinking and living. In my opinion, it is a better way to learn the principal thought handed down from person to person on books.
According to my suggestion above, I support the ides that people should consult others for giving advice rather that making decision alone. Of course, it must be a person who makes final decision. However, before that he/she have to take other aspects into consideration which even he/she cannot find. People around you must show him/her another choice.(345)
I feel worried about such many aspects of my essay as total composiction, grammer or vocablary. If you have some time to read and revice, please let me know your opiniov advice relatedd with my defects of writing.