a text (focus on articles)

[joeoct]

Hi,

In October 2009, a three-metre high tsunami struck the Lesser Sunda Islands and killed nearly 400 people. Just a few minutes after they noticed an earthquake which actually caused the tsunami, the scientists warned the local services. Unfortunately, it was not of some help, as the majority of the villages that were hit doesn't have telephone lines or any other ways to receive a warning. Even the low-tech systems which would observe indications such as water movements would surely be a life-saving help to all local people.

Please correct the text if needed.

Thanks,
Joe

[billmcd]

Hi,

In October 2009, a three-metre high tsunami struck the Lesser Sunda Islands and killed nearly 400 people. Just a few minutes after they noticed an earthquake which actually caused the tsunami, the scientists warned the local services. Unfortunately, it was not of some (OR much) help, as the majority of the villages that were hit doesn't didn't have telephone lines or any other ways to receive a warning. Even the low-tech systems which would have observed indications such as water movements would surely be have been a life-saving help to all local people.

Please correct the text if needed.

Thanks,
Joe

Suggestions. Nice work.

[Hedwig]

I'd like to ask about one correction you made:

"as the majority of the villages"

Is the article downright wrong there or is it your personal choice? I ask because I believe I've seen or heard "the majority of the xx" many times, but maybe I'm wrong.

[joeoct]

Thanks billmcd.

One question - In the sentence where telephone lines are mentioned, I was a bit confused. They clearly didn't have telephone lines when the tsunami came, but they still don't have them. That's why I used the Present Simple Tense.
In the last sentence, I wanted to point out what the present state is like, and how it can be in the future.

[joeoct]

Also, why do we omit "the" before "scientists"? Because we don't care who the scientists individually are - the fact that they are scientists is enough for us? Would we use "the" when we are interested in who those scientists are (in the text, we are focused on the tsunami)?

Can we put this sort of omission of "the" in a general cathegory? Are they all "common nouns"?

[billmcd]

I'd like to ask about one correction you made:

"as the majority of the villages"

Is the article downright wrong there or is it your personal choice? I ask because I believe I've seen or heard "the majority of the xx" many times, but maybe I'm wrong.

I wouldn't classify it as "downright" wrong, but in this case, unless the villages were previously and specifically identified or referenced, "the" really isn't necessary.

[billmcd]

Also, why do we omit "the" before "scientists"? Because we don't care who the scientists individually are - the fact that they are scientists is enough for us? Would we use "the" when we are interested in who those scientists are (in the text, we are focused on the tsunami)? Yes, to the latter two questions.

Can we put this sort of omission of "the" in a general category? Are they all "common nouns"?

Yes and yes.

See above.

[joeoct]

Thanks again. Here is another text, a very interesting one IMO.

God exists

A man went to a barbershop to take a haircut, and to cut his beard, as usual.
He started talking to the barber. They talked about everything. Suddenly, they mentioned God. The barber said: "Man, I don't believe in God's existence.""Why did you say that?" - the man asked him.
"That's so simply - all you need to do is to go out on the street and realize that God does not exist. If there is God, why there're so many ill people? Why there are waifs all around? If God exists, suffering and pain do not. I can't imagine God allowing these things." Thinking, the man became silent for a while because he didn't want to answer with no arguments.

The barber did his job, and the man went out. Not long after exiting the barbershop, he spoted a man walking in the street with long hair and untidy beard. Actually, all his appearance was untidy. Then, the man entered the barbershop again and told the barber: "There are not barbers - they don't exist." "How do you think?" - the barber asked. "No", the man shouted, "they don't exist. Because if they exist, there aren't untidy people, as the one walking beside your barbershop.""No, barbers do exist, but people don't want to come to them.""Yes, true." - the man confirmed. ""In the same way, God exists, but people don't want to come to him!"

Please correct any mistakes (including possible misspellings) and tell me how do you like the text, the writting style etc.

P.S. Ateists should disregard the point of the text.

[Raymott]

Thanks again. Here is another text, a very interesting one IMO.

God exists

A man went to a barbershop to take a haircut, and to cut his beard, as usual.
He started talking to the barber. They talked about everything. Suddenly, they mentioned God. The barber said: "Man, I don't believe in God's existence.""Why did you say that?" - the man asked him.
"That's so simply - all you need to do is to go out on the street and realize that God does not exist. If there is a God, why are there re so many ill people? Why are there are waifs all around? If God exists, suffering and pain do should not. I can't imagine God allowing these things." Thinking, the man became silent for a while because he didn't want to answer without good no arguments.

The barber did his job, and the man went out. Not long after exiting the barbershop, he spotted a man walking in the street with long hair and untidy beard. Actually, all his whole appearance was untidy. Then, the man entered the barbershop again and told the barber: "There are no t barbers - they don't exist." "How do you think figure that?" - the barber asked. "No", the man shouted, "they don't exist. Because if they did exist, there aren't wouldn't be any untidy people, such as the one walking beside your barbershop." "No, barbers do exist, but people don't want to come to them." "Yes, true." - the man confirmed. ""In the same way, God exists, but people don't want to come to him!"

Please correct any mistakes (including possible misspellings) and tell me how do you like the text, the writting style etc.

P.S. Atheists should disregard the point of the text.
There's a point?

I've disregardered the appalling logic as requested.

I don't much like the way you've written the dialogue. Don't write "". Either leave a space or, preferably, put a new sentence on a new line.

PS: You'd be better starting a new thread for a new text.

[joeoct]

I've disregardered the appalling logic as requested.

I don't much like the way you've written the dialogue. Don't write "". Either leave a space or, preferably, put a new sentence on a new line.

PS: You'd be better starting a new thread for a new text.

Thanks a lot.

The point of the text is absolutely unimportant. Even the original text is not my creation.

In fact, the text itself is very cheap. The focus is on grammar.