CAE writing

[hideandseek]

I will be very grateful if somebody check this writing and give me a mark.
Firstly,this is the task:



And here it is the writing:

Study trip to Britain
Introduction
The aim of the report is to present the thriving and unsatisfactory aspects of the study trip to Britain and to recommend future improvements.
Living with a british family
On the whole, the host families were very amiable and considerate, but they were aged and old-fashioned. That is why our student sometimes felt uncomfortable. It is advisable to provide younger host families in order to be closer to our pupil’s generation.
The cultural programme
Despite the wide variety of museums located in Britain, most students consider that exhibiting so many museums is tedious and tiresome. What can excite and entertain them more is some theatre trips and undoubtedly live music.
Optional language classes
Unquestionably, the teachers are quite amicable and affectionate. However, that classes are not much in use out of the classroom because of the lack of spoken English. Devoting more time for speaking discussions will definitely help quite a lot.
The social programme
That is the most outstanding time from our trip. The students were extremely thrilled and they had a great opportunity to meet a lot of British students and practice the language. That is why it is highly recommended to enlarge the duration of that programme.
Conclusion
In conclusion, if those suggestions are considered, it is absolutely believed that it will improve the quality of our trip.

And also can you give me a comment on the content,organisation and cohesion,range,register and target reader?

[Gillnetter]

I will be very grateful if somebody check this writing and give me a mark.
Firstly,this is the task:



And here it is the writing:

Study trip to Britain
Introduction
The aim of the this report is to present the thriving satisfactory and unsatisfactory aspects of the study trip to Britain and to recommend future improvements.
Living with a British family
On the whole, the host families were very amiable and considerate, but they were aged older and old-fashioned. That is why our student sometimes felt uncomfortable. It is advisable to provide younger host families in order to which are be closer to our pupil’s generation.
The cultural programme
Despite the wide variety of museums located in Britain, most students consider that exhibiting (seeing or visiting) so many museums is was tedious and tiresome. What can would excite and entertain them more is are some theatre trips and, undoubtedly, live music.
Optional language classes
Unquestionably, the teachers are were (are could be used here since the manners of the teachers has probably not changed but "were" is better because you are referring to the past.) quite amicable and affectionate. However, thatthe classes are not much in use out of the classroom because of the lack of spoken English. Devoting more time for speaking discussions will definitely help quite a lot. (Speaking and discussions would be better but it seems that speaking is more important. By using discussions you are introducing a new element.)
The social programme
That This was is the most outstanding time part of from our trip. The students were extremely thrilled and they had a great opportunity to meet a lot of British students and practice the language. That is why it is highly recommended to enlarge the duration of that this programme.
Conclusion
In conclusion, if those suggestions are considered, it is absolutely believed that it they will improve the quality of our trip.(You can't improve the quality of the trip. It already happened. What you can do is improve the quality of future trips.)

And also can you give me a comment on the content,organisation and cohesion,range,register and target reader?

The content is good as is the organization. I assume the target reader is someone who can effect changes in future programs. You have a tendency to slip between tenses - "...is tedious" - No, "...was tedious."

[hideandseek]

oh,thank you so much
it is really helpful because i can see what stupid mistakes i 'm always making
by the way what mark can you put on this writing?