What do you think about my essays for TOEFL?
Hello peers, I am taking my toefl this saturday and I would really appreciate it if you could rate my essay:
Do you agree with the following:
Distance education and online computer education should replace classroom education.
This is my essay:
Learning, just like any other discipline, has been affected by the revolutionary breakthroughts in communication and information technology. Nowadays, it is possible using these advanced technologies to get an education while sitting comfortably behind your screen at home. But is online e-learning really an alternative to classical classroom learning? I personally disagree and think that classical learning is a much better option for the following reasons:
First, there is no better alternative than having a real teacher, one that you can ask any time about anything in the lecture, one that can interact with you easily and efficiently, that knows you and can direct your learning and adapt the pace of the teaching in a way that is more suitable to your capacities. Online computer classes don't generally offer this type of flexibility as you don't really have a physical person mentoring your education.What you basically have is a curriculum that you have to undertake . For example, if you have a problem with a given learning material, when you are taking online computer classes all you can do is read that material again and try to understand. You can maybe look it up on the internet but still that doesn't garantee that you will get it eventually. But when you have a teacher at your disposal, you can easily ask him and he would provide more information on the desired topic from other perspectives that would definitely help you to understand better and get the idea.
Another reason is that classroom learning, as opposed to distance learning, fosters the development and sustainability of social relationships between students. This is a very important point because learning afterall is not only be about acquiring information, but it is also about learning to interact with peers, forming social relationships, being socially apt to live in a society of different individuals. Education's role is to prepare students for an outer world, a society where having social skills and being able to form relationships is very critical. Online education contributes very little to the development of such a skill, as students will only be learning academics behind a screen in the comfort of their own house in a very limited context while such skills are acquired through the physical interaction with other peers. If we take the example of a kid that studies at school and another one that studied at home, we would clearly see differences in their personalities: The "school" boy would have a more extravert personality while the "home" boy would be more intravert. There are no doubts cast on which one of the two boys will perform better in society.
For these reasons, I believe that distance learning and online learning cannot and should not replace classroom learning. Even if the academic experience, the amount of information could be the same but classroom teaches skills that cannot be graded on a piece of paper, skills that are essential in the development of the individual later on in the society.
Re: What do you think about my essays for TOEFL?
Describe some of the experiences you had in life and how it impacted your outlook and how you live:
They say "life is the best tutor", I think this statement is very true because nothing that you learn elsewhere lasts longer than what life teaches you, nothing gives you better insight and keen judgement than life itself. And just like any other living human being, I have been through some experiences that really shaped me.I believe that the following two experiences were the most influencial:
I used to think that in my circle I have a lot of people I can call friends but the summer of 2007 proved me wrong. I remember I was preparing to take my high school exam, a very difficult exam that would grant me a ticket to my future. I've never worked for an exam the way I did for that one. I really gave it all. And three weeks before it, I fell sick. I caught a severe pneumonia that kept me feverish in bed for a week. I couldn't breath, eat or drink and having ashma already really complicated my situation. But it was not the sickness that affected me the most but it was not having these so called "friends" check on me, help me, be with me. I remember lying in my bed, feeling betrayed, remembering all the times I shared with these people, the burdens I lifted from their backs, the smiles I put on their faces when they were said and thought to myself: "How could I be so naive?"
I hated myself that day but then came to realize that it wasn't my fault, it was theirs. From that day, I've been very careful with calling people "friends". Being friend is something people are supposed to earn, sharing my laughter wouldn't make you my friend but helping me through my hard times would. and that's a valuable lesson I learnt the hard way.
The other experience I want to talk about is more positive. It was the summer of 2010 when I was nominated to participate in an international exchange program called the "MEPI". Being in the university of Georgetown, taking classes in Political Sciences, Leadership, Entrepreneurship with over 25 nationalities was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was not necessarily the academics component of the program but merely the interaction with internationals. Stepping out of my comfort zone to meet new people, challenge the stereotypes I had, defy and defeat my fear of the unknown really helped in widening my vision of the world. I realized how narrow my perspective of the world was, how little I knew about myself, my strenghts and weaknesses. I owe to this experiences a lot of self confidence that I have now and most importantly a never ending passion to improve myself, to live in the world as a global citizen and to commit to make a change by starting with myself.
These two experiences were definitely the most significant and impacting I had so far. Believing that life is an ever lasting process of learning and armed with the experience I earnt so far, the least I can say is that I am eager and ethusiastic to live more and learn more.
Re: What do you think about my essays for TOEFL?
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