please check my grammar :)

[fjoidsw]

In the present age, tourism plays an increasingly significant role in a country’s income sector. But in the meantime, whether visitors should follow local customs has become a highly debatable issue. Some people assert that visitors should respect the locals while the others believe that host countries should welcome the differences. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the former view.

Convincing arguments can be made that visitors should follow local customs and behaviour. To begin with, the primary goal of visiting other countries is to experience the local culture that we will never be able to have in home country. The most efficient way is considered to be following the local customs and behavior that could be totally different or opposite of ours. More importantly, when visiting other countries, we would become the ambassadors who represent the image of our country. Thus the more we respect the others, the more other will return to us. This could potentially strengthen the relationship between two countries.

On the other hand, I would acknowledge that some people prefer the way that host country should welcome cultural difference instead of visitors following local customs. This is probably due to the fact that many people believe in “customer is god”. Some local customs or behavior may be difficult to follow and obey in some way. A visitor who has paid huge amount of money for oversea travel deserves to have a comfortable journey. In other words, a visitor who has had a wonderful time oversea would definitely enjoy coming back again and share the experiences with friends. This will be helpful in developing a country’s tourism business.

To sum up, having considered all the arguments above, I admit that visitors have their own reason for not following local customs. Despite that, I still insist my point of view that they should respect the local cultures. Overall, I am convinced that if one makes some scarifies, it is definitely going to solve the problems.



and advices will be appreciated :)

[Gillnetter]

In the present age, Tourism plays an increasingly significant role in a country’s income sector. But in the meantime, Whether visitors should follow local customs has become a highly debatable issue. Some people assert that visitors should respect the locals while the others believe that host countries should welcome the differences. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the former view.
("Tourism plays", "But in the meantime", "As far as I", are all redundant - they are not needed, nor do they do anything to help the sentences.)

Convincing arguments can be made that visitors should follow local customs and behaviour behaviors. To begin with, the primary goal of visiting other countries is to experience the local culture that we will never be able to have in our home country countries. The most efficient way is considered to be following the local customs and behaviors that could be totally different or opposite of ours (The most efficient way to what?). More importantly, when visiting other countries, we would become the ambassadors who represent the image of our country. Thus, the more we respect the others, the more others will return to us (Unclear sentence. What will they return?). This could potentially strengthen the relationship between the two countries.

On the other hand, I would acknowledge that some people prefer the way that the host country should welcome cultural differences instead of visitors following local customs. This is probably due to the fact that many people believe in that the “customer is God”. Some local customs or behaviors may be difficult to follow and obey in some ways. A visitor who has paid a huge amount of money for oversea travel deserves to have a comfortable journey. In other words, a visitor who has had a wonderful time overseas would definitely enjoy coming back again and share the experiences with friends. This will be helpful in developing a country’s tourism business.

To sum up, having considered all the arguments above, I admit that visitors have their own reasons for not following local customs. Despite that, I still insist my point of view that they should respect the local cultures. Overall, I am convinced that if one makes some scarifies, it is definitely going to solve the problems (What problems?).



and Any advices advice will be appreciated :)

Gil