Correct Hamlet Essay Plz

[sp00ky05]

I am not done yet but hopefully someone can help me edit what I got so far. I don't really know what my thesis is, but I have to compare the first two Hamlet soliloquies. Here what I got so far.
Throughout life, people go through many different experiences which cause them to change their morals and behaviours. This is the case in William Shakespeare’s greatest tragedy ever – Hamlet. Hamlet is a story about one man who experiences the loss of his father through the ruthless behaviour of his uncle Claudius. Like all Shakespeare plays, the main characters have soliloquies. Soliloquies is an important dramatic device which allows a character to reveal their innermost thoughts and feelings aloud. Soliloquies also gives the reader clues to what is going to happen next in the course of the play with the figurative language that is being used by the character. Figurative language such as metaphors and alliterations is very important in the play because it gives readers ideas on the character’s tone and characteristics. This is evident as readers read Hamlet’s first two soliloquies.
To start off, in Hamlet’s first soliloquy, we notice that Hamlet is indeed a very moral person. He starts off saying that he would just want to kill himself at this moment, but will not do it because that will be a sin. To illustrate, Hamlet says, “Or that the Everlasting had not fix’d/His canon ‘gainst self-slaughter! Oh God, God.” (Hamlet 1.2 131 – 132) This shows that Hamlet’s miseries have driven him to thoughts of suicide and that he would commit it if only self-murder were not a violation of canon law (the Sixth Commandments). Furthermore, we notice Hamlet showed a great respect and loyalty towards his father, Hamlet Sr., who has passed away less than two months ago. This is evident when Hamlet says, “But two months dead, nay, not so much, not two;/ So excellent a king, tat was to this.” (Hamlet 1.2 138 – 139) It is very obvious Hamlet loved his father very much and will remain loyal to him as he says how good of a king he had been, compared to his uncle who is currently king, Claudius. Similarly, in Act II, Hamlet plans to avenge his father where Hamlet will “catch the conscience of the king (Claudius).” This is where Hamlet shows his intelligence when he says in his second soliloquy, “I’ll have these players/ Play something like the murder of my father/ Before mine uncle, I’ll observe his looks.” (Hamlet 2.2 596 – 598) This states that Hamlet will hire the actors to perform something similar to his father’s murder and will observe his uncle’s reaction to try to establish his guilt. If there are any indication of Claudius flinching that would point out his remorse, Hamlet will know he killed his father. Therefore, Hamlet’s characteristics from his first soliloquy are very similar to his second.

[Tdol]

In the first paragraph, you introduce things that you don't go on to develop like metaphor and alliteration. You should then justify this statement by showing how he uses them directly in the two soliloquies.

You open with a statement about changing behoviour and morals, but isn't one of the concepts of tragedy that the tragic hero has a flaw and that this flaw leads them to their death? In Hamlet's case, it is his indecision that is his flaw, isn't it? He has the opportunity to avenge his father's death, but doesn't kill his uncle, and this leads to the chaos at the end. Hamlet is certainly clever, but unable to decide and act quickly and many die as a result, though he finally resolves this, at the cost of his own life.