Help with my essay for IELTS exam (task2)

I would like to know my mistakes and if it is possible the score

task 2

When a country develops its technology the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no doubt that the development of technology in countries prompted them to extint the usual habilities of life. Some people believe that it does not have any relevance to maintain them in our life. I agree to a certain extent.

Most people agree that technology has offered great advances to help us out with our tasks. Thus, technology has been a such important tool rather than a problem. For instance, people who need to do multiple tasks daily may require technology to finish them on time. In other words, if they had not had this tool, they would not have been able to do it.

On the other hand, technology can affect our culture on the grounds that people prefer to use technology in order to save money and time instead of keeping the traditional ways. Thus, nowadays there has been an impact on our culture which has been lacking essence. For example, in my country it was common to spend time on the bus talking any topic with other people whereas actually, people would rather go on Internet by mobile or play videogames.

In conclusion, technology which is an important tool for human beings, has been an alternative to save money and time. However, people should use it when is needed, avoiding dependent on it.